Therapist shares 5 questions to ask if you are not sure about your relationship; the fifth gives the biggest hint

It is not unusual for individuals to doubt whether they made the right choice in romantic partners. Jeff Guenther shares five questions to help decide.

Not all relationships have smooth sailing, especially when a couple is a few months into their courtship, long enough for the “honeymoon phase” to be over, but the rapport is yet to be permanently established.

Relationships are not usually strangers to moments of doubt in the early stages. (Pexel)

In such a situation, it is commonplace to find oneself wondering whether the relationship is worth the effort that it demands. To help out in this situation, Jeff Guenther, a licensed professional counsellor based in Portland, took to Instagram on April 1 and shared a list of five questions that one should ask themselves when in doubt.

1. Do I want to be loved like this for the rest of my life?

It is important to note that the right question to ask is whether one wants to be loved by the partner the way that they are loved at present for the rest of their life, and not whether or not they love their partner themselves. If the latter were easily answerable, they would not be in this situation in the first place.

“The question is, the way they show up for you, the way they treat you on a random Tuesday, the way they act when you're struggling, do you want that for another 40 years? Because that's what you're actually signing up for,” explained Jeff.

2. Do I like the version of me that shows up in this relationship?

Every relationship brings out a different version of the individuals who are involved in it. As someone who is questioning their relationship, it is important to note whether the version of themselves that appears in the presence of the partner is something that they are kind of embarrassed by, as it is insecure, reactive, or small, or whether that version is something they truly love.

3. Does my partner think I'm funny?

While the question may sound shallow, Jeff assures us that it is actually not. “Humour is how we test whether someone actually gets us. Our references, our timing, our weird brain. If they don't laugh at your jokes, they might not really see you. I think that matters more than people realise,” he shared.

4. If they never changed, would you be happy?

If the person one is in a relationship with does not change at all over the years, would they be happy? It is one of the most important questions to ask, as Jeff explained, “Because they probably won't and most likely will get even more exaggeratedly who they currently are. So if your answer depends on some future version of them, that's not a yes.”

5. What were you hoping for while answering the previous questions?

The fifth question is a loaded one, as Jeff explained that an individual is most likely going through the above questions “hoping for permission to leave or hoping for a reason to stay.” The option that suits one best is a big hint as to what their takeaway should be.

Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. This report is based on user-generated content from social media. HT.com has not independently verified the claims and does not endorse them.