What are the invisible stressors in a relationship? Therapist explains

Published on Nov 24, 2022 12:19 PM IST

From worrying over things to delegating tasks to others, here are four invisible stressors in a relationship.

What are the invisible stressors in a relationship? Therapist explains(istockphoto)
What are the invisible stressors in a relationship? Therapist explains(istockphoto)
ByTapatrisha Das, Delhi

A relationship takes a lot of work. After the initial phase of firecrackers wear off, a relationship becomes a journey of two people. Relationship demands a lot of understanding and communication from both ends to make it work. Conflicts are also a part of relationship. Contrary to what we believe, conflicts are actually healthy as they help in opening up perspectives and changes in the other person and let us understand them better. Agreeing to disagree and yet being together captures the beauty of a relationship perfectly. A relationship, also often, goes through stress situations which become challenges for the people involved in it. It is in those times, that the skill of learning to navigate through it all comes handy and helps in making two people stick together, no matter what.

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Addressing the invisible stressors of a relationship, Family and Marriage Therapist Elizabeth Earnshaw wrote, “Have the quiet stressors in your life make a little more noise. Carrying the remembering, researching, worrying, and delegating in your mind can be exhausting work. This work exists in your lives no matter what. There will always be something to remember, learn more about, and remind other people to do. However, when we don't take on this mental work fairly resentment builds. To reduce resentment, we need to look at the work going on in our minds as being as time consuming and as exhausting (maybe even more so) than the more visible physical labor happening in our lives.”

Remembering: Remembering to do the smallest of activities in the daily life can be exhausting sometimes, and often we end up forgetting them.

Researching: From how to pay the taxes to how to navigate a stressful situation with parents, researching and learning things that are new can take up a lot of our time and mind space.

Worrying: Stressing over things that we need to do in order to have a good time later, is a difficult part in relationship.

Delegating: Diving the work between the people involved and asking them to do it equally and fairly can be a healthy approach to navigate a stress situation.

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