Cyrus Broacha’s relationship advice: Communication is the one-stop shop to ease all your burdens

Are you having relationship troubles? Are you looking for someone to talk your heart out about these problems? From how to approach your crush to how to handle a break up, shoot your questions to Cyrus and he will answer them.
Updated on Aug 10, 2019 12:25 PM IST
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Hindustan Times, Delhi | ByCyrus Broacha

Are you having relationship troubles? Is the long distance bothering you or do you have trust issues? Are you looking for someone to talk your heart out about these problems?

Worry not. TV anchor, theatre personality, comedian, political satirist, columnist and author, Cyrus Broacha is here to help you: From navigating relationship trouble to helping your love life go the distance, he’s got all the dating advice you’ll ever need from your first date to a commitment to even something that you can’t find a solution to.

From how to approach your crush to how to handle a break up, shoot your questions to Cyrus and he will answer them.

There is this guy in my neighbourhood and he is extremely handsome. l already know that he has a girlfriend but I still have a massive crush on him. I have also learnt that he is going to move out soon. I am not able to get over him. What should I do? — SS

SS, I’m glad you are asking this question. It’s a common malady, known by different names to different people. The Aztecs called it the “Baanooo”. The Indo-Turks called it the “Sangaah”, and today we call it the neighbourhood crush. The good news is that since he’s going to move out soon, you need to hurry up and make your move. The bad news is he’s very handsome. Remember the Taiwanese proverb “Handsomeness is like a long hair, it takes longer to wash away” so don’t waste time with thoughts or words. If that’s good enough for Donald Trump, it’s good enough for you. And, by make your move, I only mean establish contact. Let him know you exist. At least give him a chance to fall for you.

I am a 23-year-old guy and I am falling in love with my best friend. I don’t know if she also feels the same for me. However, I want to get out of this friend zone. What do I do? — KK

KK, first let’s understand fully. You say you are falling in love with your best friend? So, as you wrote this question, you were falling in love with her simultaneously? Which means by the time you finished writing, you had fallen in love fully? KK, Marcus Aurelius in his book ‘Love explained for Idiots’, mentioned three categories of love, (a) falling in love with a stranger, (b) falling in love with a friend, and (c) falling in love with left-handers. (Originally he had a 4th category, falling in love with a relative, but retracted that in later editions after a cousin refused to marry him). I’m not a fan of people saying, ‘Why risk the friendship’? You’ve already gone beyond the friendship from your side. Also, she will be able to tell you wanna be more than friends. So you can just let this play out organically. Whatever you do, it’s not gonna stay at friendship. It’s up or down from here. If you are impatient, might as well let her know your feelings. Win some, lose some. (Marcus Aurelius saying after a second cousin complained of harassment from him).

I am a 25-year-old lady and I am in a relationship with a guy who is 23. We have been dating for almost a year and are quite happy in the space we are currently. However, I don’t know if he is the guy for me to get settled with. What should I do? — KA

KA, again ‘get settled’, is a very loose term. When I went to college in the North, (North of Mumbai, not North of India), my parents waited for me to get settled. When I got selected for the Indian under 19 team, (in the sport of finger Panja), it took me a long time to get settled, with all the overage competitors around me. The guy who beat me in the final was 43 years, and his son was expecting a second child. So, by getting settled, do you mean the act of marriage? Otherwise, it looks like you are already quite settled. Having doubts is normal. Again many of our celebrities had, ‘doubts’, before trying the hair weaves that are out there. And I’m only talking about the women celebrities. Generally, if you are not keen on marrying the person you are with, that means there is enough reason not to. So I think, give the relationship more time, hopefully, things will get clearer. Don’t get married till you really, really want to.

I am a 33-year-old man and I have been married for the last five years. We are a happy couple and things are going pretty smoothly as of now. However, I have been experiencing some trust issues for the last six months and this is taking a toll on our relationship. How should I deal with my insecurities? — DR

There is only one cure for ‘Trust Issues’, DK. I’m speaking of talking. Communication, ‘baat banjaye’, chat. Yes, to gain trust, you need to speak to each other. Communication is the one-stop-shop, to ease all your burden. It’s how couples, understand one another. Talk, talk, talk. Oh and close circuit cameras. While chatting away don’t forget to follow her, check her digital footprint. Use electronic surveillance to keep an electronic eye on her. I mean it’s so much easier for this generation. Imagine how hard it was for our ancestors. And even harder for our ancestor’s forefathers. They had to go by a person’s word. Which is an awful way to live. Today thanks to technology, you have the power. If the talk doesn’t reveal much, turn to digital proof. No point living in anxiety. Of course, if she’s innocent, and finds out what you have done, you may have to move to an ashram for the rest of your life.

Got a question? Just write to uncle Cy: and I’ll give you some relief…. err… that is, provided, I’m not doing a headstand at the time.

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