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Valentine’s Day 2019: How to make your date night memorable and not a nightmare. Read tips

Happy Valentine’s Day: Nervous about your first date? From how to choose your venue to how to deal with a rejection, we decode a few important aspects of the dating world for you

sex and relationships Updated: Feb 12, 2019 17:23 IST
Collin Rodrigues
Collin Rodrigues
Hindustan Times, Delhi
Date night,first date,dating world

There is always a little nervousness to set things right on a first date. Should it be a candle-light dinner? Or should a coffee date do the trick? Amidst these confusions and excitement to make it special, many of us surely walk a tightrope. A wrong move here or a wrong question there, may seal the fate of your date. For you to enjoy a hiccup-free first date, we ask experts to tell you all about the special night that may save the day for you.

Significance of the first date

Your first date can also be your last if you’ve taken all the wrong possible steps. Kavita Mungi, mental health counsellor, explains, “A first date is very important as it has the power to influence a person’s concept of dating. A very good first dating experience will set the precedence for the next and a bad one might just put someone off the whole idea of dating.”

Facing rejection

If someone reciprocates your interest in them through their words and actions, then it’s best to ask them outright and make your intentions clear. However, if you have got it all wrong, then be ready to face the rejection. Mungi says, “There is no harm in acting on your feelings but if you face rejection, you must be respectful and mature about it.”

Taking a call

It is best to get to know someone long enough to ensure that it will be safe to spend one-to-one time with them. Mungi says that first date speaks volumes about how the relationship would look like in the future. She adds that one should be patient and know the other person. “Wait for cues from the other person and figure out if you are on the same page as it’s very important to choose wisely,” she elucidates.

First meeting

Since online dating is big these days, many people go out on first dates with people they’ve never met in person. And, you may have to treat this date somewhat differently. As a first, meet in a public place and make sure someone knows where you are. Kinjal Pandya, relationship expert, says, “Try to understand his/her body language. See if you are getting honest replies to simple questions or if your date is uncomfortable replying to you. These things will give you a glimpse into your date’s life and whether you have a future together.”

Timing matters

Asking someone out too soon or taking too long may have its drawbacks or benefits depending on how you read the signs. Speaking of the consequences for both the cases, Mungi says, “Asking someone out too soon may lead to a disastrous date with no connect at all. Whereas, delaying it for too long may lead to losing the person you are interested in to someone else.”

Time to let go

There is a good chance that a first date with a person you met online may go wrong. So, keep your options open. If you don’t feel the connection that you’ve had online, don’t hang-out for too long. Pandya says, “One should avoid getting too intimate or physical with this person. Try not to get too casual while talking or with your behaviour. Other than the information you have given online about yourself, don’t give out much more.”

What to ask?

Since a first date is also about knowing each other, there will be a lot of questions flying around. Pandya, adds, “You can ask about why your date chose you over others. Ask what they like about the profile or what they are looking for. Don’t ask or answer financial and sex related questions.”

The right venue

A venue is important but it shouldn’t be your only focus. Yet, choose a place that is cosy, not too noisy or crowded, and reasonably priced. Aman Bhonsle, consulting psychosocial analyst says, “The venue should reflect your feelings. Pick a venue that is not very far away for both of you. If it’s a restaurant, see to it that there is a plethora of options because sometimes people have food allergies and therefore, they may not want to engage in the food, which would make it an awkward date.”

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First Published: Feb 02, 2019 16:01 IST