Think you’re ready for a relationship? Don’t commit before you get answers to these 6 questions
You need to be genuinely fond of the person and want to spend time with your partner if you’re planning to get into a relationship, and not just because you feel bored or lonely.sex and relationships Updated: Jul 10, 2018 17:17 IST
Being fond of someone is just the first step. Getting into a relationship is the next. A relationship comes with its share of commitments. So you need to be sure about your decision before saying yes.
Relationships are about making your partner grow and becoming stronger with them. Which is why you need to ask yourself these questions before deciding on a relationship.
Is loneliness a reason?
Many times, people confuse wanting to get into a relationship with loneliness. We like the fact that we have someone to spend time with and talk to. But that’s not why you should get into a relationship. You need to get into one if you really like the person, and not to beat boredom. At times, a lot of us confuse the feeling of companionship with love. We end up liking the feeling of having someone to talk to and sharing the day with.
Are you ready?
At different points of time in our life, we go through different situations. These require taking certain decisions, such as changing cities for your course or job or some other personal reasons. Getting into a new business or job means you may have to put in a lot of time. At these junctures, you might not have time to invest in a relationship and so should know your priorities before committing to someone.
Delhi-based Nidhi Jain, founder of The Ochre Tree, a centre for pranic healing and psychotherapy, has a certain benchmark for knowing whether you’re ready or not. “To know that, first and most importantly, analyse if you love and accept yourself the way you are, and you don’t need a relationship to feel happy. You also need to realise that you deserve unconditional love from your partner,” Nidhi says.
Do you still think about your ex?
Thinking about your ex once in a while is OK, but obsessing over them continuously because you want to get back to them is a completely different condition. If that’s the case, then you’re probably just getting into another relationship to get over them, which isn’t the right reason. Doing this would be unfair for your current partner.
“Well, if you feel good about the fact that your ex is happy in their life, you know you are over your ex. Being over-your-ex means that their activities, their whereabouts and the person they are with doesn’t affect you anymore. Also, your playlist in your phone will see a transformation,” Nidhi advises.
Is your partner interesting enough?
Is it boredom which is making you commit or do you genuinely find the person interesting enough to be able to talk with about important and not-so-important things. The relationship will only sustain itself if you find the person interesting.
What is it that you want from the relationship?
You need to be clear what exactly it is that you’re looking for. If you want something serious, and your prospective partner wants to keep it casual, then it’s a recipe for disaster.
“Identifying the long-term relationship goal of your partner is very crucial as it brings clarity and also to some extent can ensure the longevity of the relationship. In the fast-paced lifestyle of today’s world, people are very clear about what their expectation is from a relationship and it’s advisable to understand the same and move forward accordingly. For example, if two people entering into a relationship are from two different aspects of the relationship spectrum, wherein, one could be wanting a frivolous relationship, whereas, other might be wanting marriage. In such a scenario the relationship becomes an uphill task,” says Delhi based Dr. Rachna, who is a relationship expert at Momspresso.
Does your partner make you grow as a person?
Your partner should respect you and not hold you back from what you want to achieve in life. They should share in your happiness and not be jealous of what you achieve. A person who abuses you emotionally or physically isn’t exactly a motivating factor for you!
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First Published: Jul 10, 2018 09:06 IST