Spice of Life | Two promises for the love of daughters

The mother-in-law said that a gynaecologist who herself had two daughters was a bad influence on her patients and she could not expect such a doctor to provide her with a grandson

You cannot control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.

Education, I realised, was yet unqualified to stand up to patriarchy in many parts of the country and this region definitely ruled the roost. (Representative Image/HT File)

Maya Angelou, American poet

When I conceived my second child, I was more than happy to pay regular visits to my gynaecologist for pre-natal check-ups. She was a good friend and would often retain me for a cup of tea and chit-chat despite her busy schedule. On the completion of the first trimester, I visited her clinic only to be greeted with a lukewarm response and a wan smile. The gynaecologist looked perturbed.

With tears brimming in her eyes, she revealed that earlier in the day she was waiting for a patient who was supposed to come for her routine pre-natal visit but had failed to turn up. Concerned about her patient’s health when she called her up, the woman apologised for her absence and showed reluctance to come for future examinations. On enquiring further, the woman revealed that her mother-in-law had forbidden her from visiting the doctor’s clinic. The mother-in-law was opinionated and said that a gynaecologist who herself had two daughters was a bad influence on her patients and she could not expect such a doctor to provide her with a grandson. So much for female empowerment!

I was at a loss as I could hardly believe what I had heard. The doctor certainly seemed in a lot of pain as she confessed that this was not the first-time patients had swapped her with other gynaecologists for the same reason. I was still considering how to console her when she took my hand in hers and said, “I would totally understand if you would also like to swap me for some other doctor since you already have a daughter.” I did not feel offended by this show of mistrust for I could actually see how shaken she was. Education, I realised, was yet unqualified to stand up to patriarchy in many parts of the country and this region definitely ruled the roost.

I had nothing to offer to her as assurance except for two things: One, under no circumstances would I be changing my gynaecologist. I told her I would continue to haunt her corridors till the end of my pregnancy. Two, I wish to give birth to another daughter and pray that both my daughters turn out to be intelligent and successful in their lives so that one fine day I could tell the world at the top of my voice that my gynaecologist had two intelligent daughters and she was instrumental in bringing into this world another set for me.

Six months later, I gave birth to my second daughter at the nursing home of the same gynaecologist. She was so ecstatic that she even refused to accept the operating and delivery charges and on my husband’s insistence accepted only a token amount. Eighteen years later, I would like to acknowledge her contribution by declaring that I am a proud mother of two intelligent daughters who have brought much happiness and appreciation my way as they scale the ladder of success in their respective fields.

sonrok15@gmail.com

The writer is an assistant professor of English at SD College, Ambala