Anti Aunti

If you put on that busy sign and have a suitable slutty status, boys at least, will always ping you. Unless you have the

Have a boyfriend with a glad-eye? A colleague minus manners? A marriage struck by lightning? Write in at your own peril.

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The woman security guard in my office checks my bag ten times a day. When I complain, she says she’s just doing her job. She’s probably right but I don’t think I can take the frisking any more.

Parul Tewari, via email

It’s the price you pay for not succumbing at the hands of a bomber. Surely, surely, you’ve heard this before! Blame it on the day and age. People are paranoid and there is nothing you can do. But if you wore less make up and tried tipping her, she might feel you up less.

I am 24 and friendly with a married man. He has a 5-year-old son and lives with his wife. He tells me he wants to divorce her but I am confused. What should I do? I don’t want him to divorce his wife because of me.

Unnita, via e mail

Eeks! Too messy, too young. Never mind divorce-shivorce. Ditch married man. Forget toddler. Start hanging out more with people your own age. Sooner or later, you’ll meet a nice boy with an MBA degree, no kids, and hopefully born in the same decade as you.

Google chat has given me a persecution complex. I am terrified of going online. The possibility that someone might ignore my pings have taken on worries of epic proportions.

Dhriti Muttoo, via email

If you put on that busy sign and have a suitable slutty status, boys at least, will always ping you. Unless you have the same problem with calling up a friend to chat. In which case, we have a larger problem that might take more time and intensive therapy.