No DRS system in love | entertainment | Hindustan Times
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No DRS system in love

Solutions to the love problems with a poured laugh.

entertainment Updated: Apr 12, 2012 15:36 IST
Cyrus Broacha

I am 22. I am in a relationship with a girl who has been my classmate since a year and a half. After she went abroad for further studies, she has been forwarding me her pictures with other guys. This makes me sad. A few days ago, she told me not to get depressed if our relationship doesn’t continue. I miss her a lot and can’t concentrate on my studies. How should I motivate myself? What should my attitude towards life be?
Mr Lonely

Dear Mr Lonely, welcome to planet pointless. It’s as clear as the 2G scam that she’s moved on, both geographically and emotionally. You will feel depressed for a while. But look on the bright side, this depression will not be as long lasting as the one you’ll feel after getting married. After it’s all done and dusted, send her a long letter of closure interspersed with pictures of you and Priyanka Chopra and you and Angelina Jolie. Thanks to Photoshop, these unions are no longer totally absurd.

I am 18, good looking, have a well-built physic, but am very shy. I know a lot of girls, but don’t know how to talk to them. I am a confident person, but I really don’t know what happens to me in the presence of girls. I just can’t make the first move.

Anurag, your physique may be good, but your spellings are atrocious. Look, you need to follow the process. You are not ready for girls. First you need to build your confidence. Start by talking to men with long hair, then move on to gay men. Next, talk to masculine women. Only when you are comfortable with these groups, take your plunge into socialisation attempts with genuine conventional females. Don’t jump the queue.

I am 17 and madly in love with a classmate. I just can’t stop thinking about her. Because of her, I don’t even flirt with other girls. After my HSC exams, I’m going to propose to her. If she rejects me, at least I’ll hate her and eventually forget her and move on. Am I right? If not, what should I do?
Awesome Dude

You indeed are awesome and I love you. By answering your question in the second part of your question, you have saved me both time and effort. For that, I thank you. Do exactly as you say. I think during your summer vacations, you should intern with me.

I am 16. I fell in love with a boy from my class at first sight. He stared at me, gave me chocolates, smiled, chatted and then said he had a girlfriend. We meet daily, so it’s not possible to neglect him.
Regular Reader

Maybe his girlfriend has diabetes, so he couldn’t give her the chocolates. This is a tough one. He, like all of us men, wants his chocolates and wants to eat yours as well. Keep chipping away. He might slowly come around to preferring your Perk to her.. .er... kit (kat). He’s obviously in the game and remember in love, there is no DRS system. So do you want to risk playing or do you want to do a Sahara?

just write to uncle cy: