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You can experiment

Just write to Uncle Cy. And I’ll give you some relief…. err… that is, provided, I’m not doing a headstand at the time.

entertainment Updated: Jun 26, 2012 13:40 IST
Cyrus Broacha
Cyrus Broacha
Hindustan Times

I'm in the 12th grade. Last year, I got introduced to this girl, who’s in FYJC, and she’s been my friend for a year. She proposed to me but I said no as she stays in another city and I was unsure about a long-distance relationship. This year, she proposed to me again and I said yes. We met three times, but 11 days later, she broke up, first saying that her mom won’t allow it and then revealing that the actual reason was that she thought both of us would get bugged of not meeting. After some days, she wanted to patch up. But soon, she broke up with me again only to patch up yet another time. Three days ago, she said ‘I love you’ to me. She’s had five boyfriend in the past. At times, I feel used by her. What’s your take?
— Simple Simon
Simple Simon, first I need you to go to a shop and buy a yo-yo. Then, I need you to play with the yo-yo. If you like how the it goes in one direction and then the other, I think you can risk a relationship with this girl. If it were me, I’d run as fast and as far as I can from her, her mother and her five Mr India boyfriends. If you don’t agree with me and return to the girlfriend, don’t forget to retain the yo-yo.

I am 19 and pursuing my CA studies. I am in love with a girl at my gym, but the problem is she is 30 years old. I proposed to her and she said that we can be friends. But it seems she wants to be more than friends. I am confused. Please advice on what to do next.
— An idiot
Well, the good news is no one expects you to clear your CA exam the first time anyway. Now, as far as the age-difference goes, keep in mind Ghenghiz Khan married his 383rd and last wife when he was 62 and she was 17. They are said to have had a beautiful relationship until he accidentally shot her thrice. So do not, to the marriage of true minds, admit impediments, as Shakespeare said to Kalidas on an Indian book-signing tour. In fact, I think you will find the CA a tougher examination than the girl.

I am a 22-year-old male cross-dresser. I have been cross-dressing since the age of 11, but I stopped three years ago. One of my best friends knew about my secret and clicked a few pictures. Now he blackmails me to get physical with him, saying that I am now his girlfriend. I really feel very depressed these days. How do I stop this?
— xyz
Yes, as you know when it comes to cross-dressing I wrote that book. So thanks for writing to me. Why are you giving in to your friend? Blackmailing someone is a crime. I know you just want to be secretive but sometimes ‘out’ is safer then ‘in’.

I am a 20 and have been in love with a girl since I was 16. For the first two years, we were just friends. But this year, we went out on Valentine’s Day and I proposed to her. However, she says that even though she wants to marry me in the future, she doesn’t want a relationship right now. What should I do?
— Rahul
Rahul, I’ve dated 848 women and though most of them were drunk at that time, one thing remains constant. What a lady says isn’t what she means . I mean, if she’s going to marry you later what does she want now — a license to experiment? I say keep up the attack and be firm . If she’s really into you she’ll come around. Otherwise the good news for you is that you can also experiment.

First Published: Jun 26, 2012 11:48 IST