Bovine wisdom from govt body: India cow is clever, warm; jersey cow is lazy, emotionless
Indian cows, or “gaumata”, are clever and warm creatures who don’t sit in dirty places; produce milk with traces of gold; and their dung has anti-radioactive properties. In contrast, “exotic” jersey cows are dirty, lazy and emotionless creatures who sit idly all day and are prone to diseases because they’re unhygienic. Such bovine wisdom, and more, has been published by the national government body for cow welfare, Rashtriya Kamdhenu Aayog, to help candidates prepare for India’s first annual countrywide cow examination on February 25.
“The cow is full of science and scientific facts. Gaumata will play an important role in building a $5 trillion economy,” said Aayog chief Vallabhbhai Kathiria.
The exam, formally known as the Kamdhenu Gau-VigyanPrachar-Prasar Examination, will be held online in four tiers spanning primary, middle and high school students, college students and the general public. It will have multiple-choice questions for 100 marks across 14 languages.
“This will infuse the curiosity into all Indians about the cows, and make them aware of the unexplored potential and business opportunities a cow can offer, even after it stops giving milk,” said the body in a press release on Tuesday. Successful candidates will be given awards and certificates.
To help candidates prepare for the challenging examination, the body published a 54-page booklet specifying the various properties of the “gaumata”, her emotions, usefulness, and physical features.
A highlight is the 20-point distinction between Indian and jersey cows. The Indian cow is “very active in nature and shares warmth with all,” it said. The jersey, in contrast, “sits idle and very inactive, likes to sit at one place.”
“Whenever any unknown person comes near desi cow, she will immediately stand,” the booklet said. The jersey cow, however, displays no emotions.
“Indian cows maintain hygiene, [are] hardy and clever enough not to sit at dirty places,” it stated.
“Jersey cows are known to be very lazy and highly prone to diseases. It has also been seen that they attract infection by not being hygienic enough.”
The reference material also hailed cow products and said the Indian cow’s milk is light yellow in colour because of traces of gold in it. “Cow dung has antiseptic, anti-radioactive and anti-thermal properties…In 1984, more than 20,000 people died due to gas leaks in Bhopal. People living in houses with cow dung coated walls were not affected. Even today, nuclear power centres in India and Russia use shielding dung to radiation,” the booklet read.
It claimed that cow urine is an antidote for phlegm, abdominal diseases, eye diseases, bladder diseases, respiratory diseases, inflammation, liver diseases, acidity, leprosy and other skin diseases. “By regularly taking cow urine before sickness, we gain so much immunity that any attack of diseases is repulsed…the only disadvantage of Gaumutra is its smell or taste.”
The booklet expands on the ideal feed for a cow, the properties of an ideal cow shelter and even links cow slaughter to earthquakes.
“Acoustic anisotropy leads to a very strong anisotropic stress on a rock. The daily butchering of thousands of animals continually for several years generates acoustic anisotropy due to Einsteinian Pain Waves (EPW) emitted by dying animals. And the accumulated acoustic anisotropy is found to be related with the stress history of rocks.”
A statement by the Aayog said Union education ministers, chief ministers, state education ministers, chairmen of cow welfare commissions of all states, district education officers of all states, principals of all schools, print and electronic media, NGOs and cow donors will be involved in the exercise. The test will be an annual affair.
“I don’t know anything about this, but any claim needs to pass rigorous scientific tests based on facts,” said Samir Brahmachari, a biophysicist and former director-general of the Council of Scientific and Industrial Research.