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Getting over V-Day blues

Are you pining for a lost love? Or haven't you found your soulmate yet? Nandini Hate-Mane on avoiding the V-Day blues.
By Nandini Hate-Mane | Hindustan Times, Mumbai
UPDATED ON FEB 13, 2008 04:45 PM IST

Are you pining for a lost love? Or haven't you found your soulmate yet? Either ways, are you alone this Valentine's Day? Mrudang thought he had a reason to feel low, as he stared at the endless stretch of murky turquoise waters. The waves seemed very much like the turmoil in his heart.

Feeling miserable
His break-up with his girlfriend of two years was almost six months old now. Although the pain was less sharp, it still felt as if it was just yesterday. He was feeling miserable especially since Valentine's Day was around the corner.

Mrudang's story touches a chord in everyone who's going through a similar situation. The reasons could be many and yet the feeling is the same. The solution is at hand.

Acknowledge the pain.
It's terribly important to deny the fact that we're hurt. It's okay to feel the pain. But set yourself a time limit. It's also important to give yourself the permission to heal.

Geeta lost her husband in a car accident. She missed him terribly and clung to his memories. She thought it would replace his love, that she was so used to. It's important to ‘let go' and begin the healing process.

No reminders
One could start by discarding all the material things that are a reminder of that person.

Keeping them for sentimental reasons is okay, as long as you don't break down every time you see them. According to some, one should burn down that guilt altar, where many crucify themselves.

Bonding time
Pria broke up with her long-time boyfriend. She had initiated the break-up but had no regrets about it. However, she couldn't decide how long the ‘mourning period' should be. So every time she felt happy, she would feel guilty. It's also possible to get stuck midway At such times, . one needs to believe and trust oneself and move on confidently .

Rohit looked for substitutes to feel good again. He says, "I refreshed my memory with things that I loved doing. That hurt sometimes. So I tried finding something new. The scope for learning something new is always there - a new hobby, group or website.

He discovered how his family and friends were pillars of strength in the true sense of the word. He feels if one has been too busy in the past with a lover, this is the time to bond with them again.

Travel time
However, this doesn't work sometimes. As in Namrata's case. She didn't want to connect with her friends. They were feeling sorry for her. She got involved with the street Kids' foundation and focused on their woes and joys. She adds, "It was a fulfilling experience. There are many less-privileged people. Give them your time."

A random trip is another great way to start afresh. However, if you're in a really bad state, then go to a counsellor. It's not just the right way to deal with depression but also considered fashionable too. Whatever you do, let the sun shine through and create your own rainbow, this Valentine's Day .

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