Wanted: A few dull men
If you love watching water freeze or wood float on water, this is the right place for you.india Updated: Nov 11, 2006 14:24 IST
Looking for safe excitement? November is fig month at the Dull Men's Club, a place in cyberspace for men who feel 'born to be mild' and enjoy watching grass grow and photographing garden sheds.
"Figs are good for you. High fibre and high nutritional value ... fat-free, sodium-free, cholesterol-free ... not to mention the great taste. And they are portable," enthuses the Dull Men's Club website just above its choice of 'Anorak of the Month'.
While the rest of the Web teems with hazards - trojans, viruses, bots, phishers, spyware and other people - this monochrome haven boasts "no violence or scary scenes" and does its best to exclude exclamation marks.
Instead, an analysis of baggage carousels at 376 airports globally discovers that 44.8 per cent rotate counterclockwise, 29 per cent clockwise. The site also reveals the reason for that orientation.
"Many people - corporate executives and celebrities I've heard about - enjoy doing the dull things," the site's author Lee Carlson, also known as Grover Click, said.
"It's an ordinary subject taken to extremes. Here's one: take a bucket, fill it with water, put in some wood, and watch it warp."
For the Dull Men's Club, watching water freeze is stimulus enough, as is discovering the history of soap.
One of the more adventurous pastimes for members is "Binge Flossing" - partly because it is "an inexpensive thing to do on a date".
Visiting museums is a favourite dull men's activity, and the site contains references to a plethora of resources, from safety razors through aprons to water hydrants, via a comb museum in China and Jerusalem's Tax Museum.
"One of the museum's purposes was to be a place to learn about the routine work of the tax department. Wow ... it doesn't get much better than that," enthuses the site.
Women are excluded from the site's host society, the "National Council of Dull Men, Washington, DC"
Carlson - a semi-retired former tax accountant - founded the society with a few friends along the lines of gentlemen's clubs in London and New York, to share common interests.
"Our view is that women are not dull. Women are exciting. Moreover, we think women would be offended if we said they were dull ... that it would be politically incorrect to refer to women as being dull," the site says.
"We also question what they might do if they were in one of our meeting rooms. The first thing they probably would do is rearrange the furniture. We like our furniture where it already is."