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I don’t want to play gay men any more: Bobby Darling on her unique struggle
The actor was a pioneer, the first openly queer person in mainstream Hindi cinema. Now, while the industry has moved on somewhat, she remains typecast. She has no regrets, but she would like more worthy roles now, she says.
Pakhi Sharma, also known as Bobby Darling, is not a gay man. That’s the first thing she’d like directors and producers to know.
At 43, she is in the unenviable position of having been a pioneer in an industry that viewed trans identities incorrectly, and now, while the industry has moved on somewhat, she remains typecast, as an effete cross-dressing queer male in tottering heels and over-the-top outfits.
She has appeared, in more or less this avatar, in 32 films over 17 years, alongside the likes of Hrithik Roshan and Johnny Lever. She was in Taal (1999), Style (2001), Na Tum Jaano Na Hum (2002), Kyaa Kool Hai Hum (2005) and Saawan… The Love Season (2006).
She’s been at the receiving end of homophobic jokes, on-screen and off. Even so, she took pride in the fact that she was the first openly queer person in mainstream Hindi cinema, and got to do something she loves, “while being true to myself in many ways”.
Born in Delhi the child of a government school teacher, Darling left home as a teen and worked in dance bars, was homeless for a while, tried to be a teacher. Eventually, she found her way to Mumbai, and films.
What does she make of how things have changed since then? What does she hope for next? Excerpts from an interview.
Looking back, how do you feel about the roles you’ve played so far?
I have no regrets about any of the films or any of the roles. It’s what I had to do then, to get to act and to earn money. But now it’s different. I can afford to only do roles that are respectful of trans people and of the LGBT+ community.
One such film was Navarasa (2005; Tamil). It’s an experimental film about a girl who discovers that her uncle secretly wears women’s clothes at night. I played myself, Bobby Darling, whom they meet at a transgender festival. Santosh Sivan would give us the scenes and we had to make up the dialogue on the spot. It was hard, but the cast convinced me to keep at it, saying it would be the best role of my career. They were right. I won Best Supporting Actor at the Monaco International Film Festival.
Do you think enough has changed over the 20 years that you’ve been an actor?
Cis men and women are still playing trans roles. In fact, male actors who used to make fun of me on set, for how I dress, how I speak and the characters I played, are now playing trans characters. I myself am still being asked to play gay men, which I don’t want to do any more…
What’s the next step for you then?
I might try my luck in the US...
What is your dream role?
Something like Shabana Azmi did in Shyam Benegal’s Mandi (1983), with Smita Patil, Soni Razdan and Ila Arun. I would like to be one of the women in a brothel that is realistically portrayed. But they don’t make such films any more.
How did you choose the stage name Bobby Darling?
It was during my third film, Na Tum Jaano Na Hum, with Hrithik Roshan and Esha Deol. At that time I went by just Bobby, my childhood nickname, but Hrithik would call me Darling while shooting. I thought it had a nice ring to it. It’s been lucky for me.
(An earlier version of this story misidentified Bobby Darling’s birthplace.)
