What to do in the first week after a breakup? Psychologist shares 5 grounding tips to begin your healing journey

An expert explains what not to do in the first week after a breakup and why it matters. Check out this breakup survival guide.

Breakups are gut-wrenching and agonising to the extent that it almost feels catastrophic. The squirming grief in your chest contains the all-consuming potential to rock your sense of stability for some time. The one week after the breakup is painful, leaving you physically and mentally exhausted.

This first week after the sudden shock of a breakup can leave you feeling unmoored, as though your entire reality has been shaken. During this time, it is vital to ground yourself instead of acting impulsively in ways you may regret later.

We asked psychologist Shireen Dargan at Maarga Mindcare what one should prioritise in the healing journey. She said ‘moving forward’ should be the biggest priority.

Moving forward means genuinely allowing yourself to heal rather than plotting a ‘revenge glow-up,' compulsively checking your ex's following list, whether they are back on dating apps, or giving in to the urge to reconnect just to find out whether they cared or loved at all, and declare that you still miss them. It is equally crucial to steer clear of destructive coping mechanisms, such as rebound relationships or substance use.

Moving on from your ex should be the biggest priority! (Picture credit: Freepik)

The first week can set the emotional tone that follows, making it an important time to find yourself again.

Elaborating more on the importance of moving on, the psychologist said, “A breakup can leave you feeling emotionally overwhelmed, distracted, restless, or even physically exhausted. During the first few days, the goal is not to ‘move on’ immediately. It is to stabilise yourself, process what you are feeling, and slowly return to a sense of routine. The first week is not about forgetting someone. It is about finding your footing again."

Here are 5 tips from the psychologist on what to do in the one week after a breakup:

1. Get back to the basics

• Try to maintain regular sleep, meals, hydration, and some physical movement.
• Emotional distress can affect appetite, sleep and energy, which can further intensify anxiety and low mood.
• Even a short walk, a shower, or having a proper meal can help your body feel more regulated.

2. Give yourself a ‘feel, don’t fight’ window

• You do not have to suppress sadness, anger or loneliness.
• Set aside 15 to 20 minutes each day to journal, cry, or simply acknowledge what you are feeling.
• Naming emotions can make them feel more manageable.
• The aim is to experience the emotion without allowing it to take over the entire day.

3. Reduce digital triggers

• Constantly checking an ex-partner’s social media, old photographs, messages or online status can keep the emotional wound activated. Consider restricting that access.
• This is not about being immature or ‘bitter’; it is about creating psychological space while you are emotionally vulnerable.

4. Stay connected to safe people

• Breakups can make you want to isolate yourself. Instead, reach out to one or two people you trust.
• You do not necessarily need advice; sometimes simply sitting with someone, taking a walk, or having a meal together can provide emotional grounding.
• Connection can act as a buffer against loneliness and rumination.

5. Don’t make major decisions while emotionally overwhelmed

• The first week is often emotionally intense.
• Avoid making impulsive decisions such as immediately entering another relationship, quitting your job, excessive drinking, or sending repeated messages to your ex.
• Give yourself time before making choices that could have long-term consequences.

During the first week, there may be days when you feel fine, spend time with friends, or perform well during a client presentation, making it seem as though you are steadily progressing on your healing journey. Then, there may be days when you find yourself sobbing on the floor. There's nothing wrong with this back and forth. The psychologist reminded us that healing is rarely linear.

Shireen's parting advice is:"Healing is not linear. Feeling okay one day and having a difficult day the next does not mean you are going backwards. If sadness, anxiety, sleep or appetite changes, or thoughts of self-harm become intense or persist, reaching out to a mental-health professional is important.”

Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your doctor with any questions about a medical condition.