Relationship coach shares 6 green flags you may be missing in you and your partner

For long, people have been on the lookout for only red flags. It’s time to appreciate the green flags that signal readiness for healthy relationships.

Everyone’s a Sherlock in relationships these days, zooming in on every little behaviour with a psychological magnifying glass to spot red flags like commitment issues, gaslighting, and more. And for good reason, too, one scans signs of doom to prevent potential emotional turmoil down the road.

Not just spotting green, red flags in others’ behaviours, you also need to recognise them in yourself.(Shutterstock)

But it's also important to take a step back and appreciate the green flags, the signs that point to emotional maturity and the potential for something truly healthy.

However, this doesn't mean one should stop being cautious of red flags, but occasionally it's totally worth flipping the list and adding a few solid green flag entries to the pro column of the mental checklist we all make.

For the uninitiated, these ‘flags’ hint at certain behaviours or traits in a relationship. Red flags are warning signs, like when someone lies too much or is overly manipulative. Green flags are the complete opposite. They include positive and healthy signs, like respecting boundaries and being emotionally available. Moreover, flagging behaviour goes both ways, even with yourself. You may be looking for green flags without realising that you might be the red flag.

Relationship coach Quentin, who frequently shares tips to improve relationships on Instagram, recently highlighted a list of green flags that indicate when you or your partner is ready to build a strong and lasting relationship. Developing an understanding of green flags is helpful, especially in a generation that is so hung up on casual relationships.

Here are the green flags the relationship coach shared:

1. Acknowledging past relationship patterns

You understand your own patterns and those of your ex-partners that contributed to the dissolution of your past relationships.

2. Willingness to grow

You feel ready to grow through life’s challenges. Previously, you might have sought relationships only for comfort, pleasure, or to fulfil unmet needs.

3. Awareness of triggers and trauma

You have a deep enough awareness of your traumas, past conditionings, and triggers that could cause you to become overwhelmed and project onto others. 

When you know what triggers you, you don't displace the blame on your partner.(Shutterstock)

4. Able to self-rejuvenate

You are meeting your own needs, feel safe on your own, and are able to self-regulate and self-rejuvenate.

5. Not conflict-avoidant

You are not conflict-avoidant and are mature enough to have difficult conversations. You have learned to remove yourself if you are too triggered, but you don’t wait an excessive amount of time to return and repair.

6. Authentic

You have unmasked yourself from personalities you felt you had to adopt to be appreciated by others, and you now show your authentic self no matter what.

Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your doctor with any questions about a medical condition.