Therapist shares 6 signs of emotional manipulation: 'They're standing right next to you, but ignoring you'

Licensed therapist Jeffrey Meltzer highlights six signs of emotional manipulation, including charm and flattery, silent treatment, and more.

In relationships, emotional manipulation is often about seizing power and using it to control the other person mentally, physically, financially, or emotionally. If you or your loved ones are in a relationship with someone who is emotionally manipulative, or have a family member or work environment where you feel the same, it is important to know the signs.

Emotional manipulation comes in different forms. Let's learn the six signs. (Freepik)

 6 signs of emotional manipulation:

In a post shared on June 29, Jeffrey Meltzer, a licensed therapist and mental health content creator, shared 6 signs of emotional manipulation. Let's find out what they are:

1. Charm and flattery

According to the therapist, the first sign of emotional manipulation is charm and flattery. He explained, “Manipulators often know exactly when to be sweet. They'll flood you with compliments right when you're pulling away or threatening to leave. It's not real affection. It's a strategy. They're using charm as a tool to keep control.”

2. Silent treatment

The second sign is the silent treatment. “They're standing right next to you, but completely ignoring you. It's not about needing space; it's about punishing you. This kind of emotional manipulation is meant to make you feel invisible, anxious, and unsure of what you did wrong,” the therapist explained.

3. DARBO

DARBO stands for defend, attack, reverse victim, and offender, per the mental health coach, and it is the third sign of emotional manipulation. “Let's say they lie or cross a line. When you bring it up, they immediately get defensive, attack your character, and then somehow they become the victim. Suddenly, you're apologising for bringing up the thing they did. This kind of emotional manipulation leaves you constantly questioning yourself.”

4. Triangulation

Number four is triangulation. It happens when people sometimes involve a third person to ease tension, but when it's manipulative, they use someone to cross boundaries. “Like, if you go no contact and they send a friend to check in on you or report back, that's not resolving conflict. That's spying through someone else. It's emotional manipulation in a very sneaky form,” the therapist said.

5. Distraction

He called distraction the fifth sign. “When they're clearly in the wrong, they'll suddenly change the subject. They might bring up something random or accuse you of something completely unrelated. This is done to avoid responsibility. The hope is you'll forget what they actually did,” Jeffrey explained.

6. Doubting your abilities

Finally, casting doubt on your abilities is the last sign. It could be in the form of them saying things like, 'You'd never make it without me', or 'You're not cut out to do this on your own'. It can be in a relationship or at work. “This kind of emotional manipulation is designed to keep you stuck. It makes you question your independence, strength, and even your reality,” the therapist claimed.

Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice.