Things that drain our energy in a relationship

From tracking mistakes of the past to taking things personally, here are a few things that drain energy in a relationship.

In a relationship, often we feel drained because of the ways that we behave with the partner. A relationship is a space built with mutual effort, understanding, loyalty, trust and communication. It takes a lot of time and work to make a relationship healthy, safe, happy and long-lasting. The way a relationship moves can mentally, emotionally and physically impact the people directly involved in the relationship. However, sometimes, we can feel drained in a relationship. Especially when we are constantly putting in effort and not getting acknowledged or reciprocated for the work, we are doing to make things work out, it can be very draining and frustrating. There are a few things in a relationship that can drain the energy and make us feel that we are doing too much. Therapist Sadaf Siddiqi addressed this and spoke of the things that drain our energy in a relationship.

Things that drain our energy in a relationship (Unsplash)

Proving a point: Often when we know that we are right, we try to gather evidence and collect witnesses to make the point. Proving the point backed by evidence is very draining rather than accepting that we are wrong, even when we think otherwise.

Tracking mistakes: In a relationship, keeping score of mistakes and conflicts can be an unhealthy way of getting back at the partner. When we start doing this, we get into the habit of blaming each other every time we have a minor disagreement. This also makes things blow up beyond control and create a bigger mess. Hence, before we start to track the mistakes of each other and keep note, we should learn to let go, and rather focus on the problem at hand at a given time and work together to fix it.

Taking things personally: When we start to take things personally and assume that they are directed to us, we start to feel very drained. Instead, we should ask for clarifications and explanations on what they need and want – this will help in creating a healthier relationship.

Accommodating others: Accommodating in a relationship is necessary to understand the needs, wants and expectations of the other person. But we should be careful to do overdo it, as it may rob us of our own sense of joy and happiness.