Too tired to spend quality time as a couple? Relationship coach shares 7 hacks to nurture intimacy

According to Kevin Ashford, simply doing routine work together and noticing each other's tiny efforts can help maintain intimacy and strengthen relationships.

Spending quality time as a couple is one of the cornerstones of a healthy romantic relationship. However, the exertions of modern life may occasionally leave us too exhausted to accommodate that need.

According to Kevin Ashford, author and relationship coach with over 20 years of experience, there are ways that couples can continue to be intimate even on days that are stressful and demanding. It not not always grand gestures, but often simple habits that bring individuals together.

Taking to Instagram on 12 December, Kevin shared seven ways in which couples can be intimate in their daily lives without going out of their way to do it.

1. A 60-second check-in

Not all conversations need to be long and deep to have an impact. Sometimes, simple questions like, “How’s your heart right now?” go a long way.

“Even when you’re drained, this quick emotional scan keeps you connected instead of drifting into silence or misunderstanding,” stated Kevin.

2. A quiet 10-second hug

“You don’t need energy to converse,” observed Kevin, “just closeness.”

A slow, intentional hug helps regulate the nervous systems of both partners and communicates the fact that even though one or both may be tired, they are there for each other.

3. Sit next to each other while doing separate things

Partners can read their own books, scroll through individual phones, watch their own TV shows, and decompress on their own, all while physically sitting together.

According to Kevin, this transforms “alone together” into “resting together,” which boosts feelings of safety and comfort in the relationship.

4. One tiny act of care

When individuals are running on low energy, it is small gestures that help keep the intimacy alive. These may involve:

• Bringing the partner a blanket
• Filling up their water bottle
• Turning off the light for them

5. Share one appreciated thing for the day

When the days feel heavy, focusing on a single happy moment and paying a compliment like, “I liked it when you checked on me earlier,” keeps gratitude alive and the mood lighter.

6. Perform routine work together

Conversations are not always essential to reconnect. “Just brushing teeth together, doing skincare together, or lying in bed at the same time can restore closeness and routine intimacy,” shared Kevin.

7. Hold hands until one falls asleep

“No conversation. No effort. Just presence,” explained Kevin. “This tiny act is grounding, bonding, and calming.” It is the simplest way to express to each other that we are a team, “even on low-energy days.”

Note to readers: This report is based on user-generated content from social media. HT.com has not independently verified the claims and does not endorse them.