A woman’s diary: The horror of auto-ride and the trolling thereafter
From being harassed to being helped and trolled by strangers - my journey of facing this society as a woman and a victim.
It’s March 4. Three calendar days have passed since the dark day. I am here in my dimly lit room, trying to put down what I went through in the last three days. It’s 8 am. I generally don’t wake up at this hour, but today was different, like all the mornings since March 2. I woke up to constant throbbing pain in my head, and I didn’t see it subsiding.

I am incessantly experiencing a flashback of the days when I was harassed, trolled, and helped - all by strangers of society.
March 3, 2023
A day passed, and I slept with much trouble, only to wake up at 6:03 in the morning. I checked my phone. No notifications. I kept my phone aside and kept laying down, staring at the ceiling, thinking about the incident. I cannot overcome it. I am not feeling comfortable in my own body. I haven’t looked in the mirror since the incident happened. Still processing how I was alone in an auto, shifting myself from middle to right to extreme left. The male gaze when he was constantly turning around just to look at me. The confrontation and how he found it so normal to ‘stare’ at a woman.
My phone buzzed and put me out of my thoughts. A friend shared a link to a news article that covered the incident. I opened but reading the headline sent chills down my spine. With much courage, I reopened the link but could not read beyond the first few lines. As I closed my eyes, my phone rang… and never stopped ringing for hours. Friends, colleagues, media – all wanted to know ‘what happened in the auto ride?’
To take an update on the filed FIR, I called up the inspector. I have to go to the magistrate to record my statement. He informed me that an Inquiry Officer had been appointed and he would contact me shortly. As I waited for his call, I called up one of my friends and asked her if she could accompany me to the court. She agreed. IO calls me next. He asked me to note down a number of female SI who would accompany me to the court. I noted down her number and called her up. She asked me to reach the court by 12:30. I insisted on 12:45. We both reached there a little late. I waited for her for a few minutes outside the Saket court.
I booked an auto from Uber but cancelled the ride. I left my building in a hurry and took the auto from the main road. During my ride, I was numb. We were on the same route where the incident happened. Surprisingly, this auto didn’t have any side mirrors. After my ride, I noticed that it didn’t have a headlight either. The left one.
SI called me, saying that she was waiting for me outside the courtroom. I soon disconnected her call and called up my friend. She just reached there. We both went inside together. Twice we went through security checks and reached outside the said courtroom on the fifth floor. She was sitting on a bench waiting for me. We went together from one courtroom to another. SI then did some formalities while my friend and I waited. She then asked us to be present in the same courtroom by 3 pm. We left the courtroom and went to the lawyer’s block and then to the canteen. I haven’t had anything since last night, and she insisted on me having something. We had a sandwich and drank some water. We discussed the incident. We discussed how men, not all of them, find it normal to stare at a woman. How normal it is in their dictionaries. How they think it doesn’t affect us, but it does. How most women don’t report it until there is verbal or physical harassment. And even when they want to, they are being stopped. Other times there is a lack of courage and fear of who will believe them.
I got a call from SI. It wasn’t 3 pm. Yet she asked me to come soon to the courtroom. We rushed. She was waiting for us with IO. IO already sent me pics of the driver for identification in the morning and was waiting for me to sign some documents. I signed, and we headed straight to the courtroom. We waited for our turn. The hearing that was going on inside the courtroom diverted my mind a bit. We then went downstairs for my confession. Two girls went inside before us. Soon, it was our turn. I went inside and recorded my statement.
I came out light-headed. Checked my phone. I missed several calls. Opened WhatsApp. Went through a few messages and replied to them. We waited again in the courtroom for a few minutes.
As I walked outside the building, I felt responsible. I thought to myself that every woman should report the smallest of incidents that happen to them. This is needed to bring about a change.
As we sat in auto, I checked Twitter. People were trolling me. Trolling me for endless reasons. Trolling me for speaking up for myself. Trolling me as if they didn’t find eve-teasing a serious issue. Trolling me as they think I need some ‘TRP’. I shook my head in disbelief. Trying to digest the hypocrisy. They are the same people who take out candle marches for victims, and here they are, trolling the victim. They have zero sensitivity. No offence to anyone, but eve-teasing is not considered a serious crime in our society. I can say that from my own experience.
March 2, 2023
I couldn’t sleep the entire night. I kept on thinking about the incident. Adding to that was the exam stress. I opened my textbook. I tried revising the subject but couldn’t. I had some biscuits. For the first time in my life, I was in no mood to drink coffee. I don’t drink tea. While I was turning the pages of my textbook and trying to read, I was still thinking about the incident and browsed Twitter for a while. I came across lewd comments that my post received. I was disheartened. I thought people would understand, but not all of them understood.
A few friends called me up. I told them what had all happened to me. Both Uber and DCW dropped comments on my post. I shared the details with them. Uber reverted to my DM very late. A DCW member then called me up and asked me to narrate the incident. They then asked me to share the same over mail. I followed.
By now, I was feeling hungry. I cooked food. But I couldn’t eat a full meal. I then started preparing a bit for the exam, but subconsciously, I was thinking about the incident.
By now, DCW issued a notice to Uber. Uber contacted me in the evening, saying that I was on a recorded line and asked me to narrate what happened. I told them nothing, but the truth. After I narrated everything, they told me strict actions would be taken. I wrote my exam and later went to the police station to file an FIR. Narrated the incident again, wrote it and left the premise after receiving a copy of the complaint.
I came back home. Hadn’t had anything. I lay down reading comments I received on the post. I was depressed. Depressed about the way people responded to an incident that is not heinous but not negligible also. Every time I read comments, I tell myself - You did the right thing. You did what should have been done. You took the right step. A few personally texted me. They found me ‘brave’ and as someone who raised the issue that men’s gaze is not acceptable.
March 1, 2023
I was all excited. A because it was my last second exam, and B because I went to meet my friend in Malviya Nagar. The day started right. I was happy. I dressed my best in the evening. I put my earphones on and played my playlist. I booked an auto from Uber. Went downstairs. Told him the pin, and we were good to go.
I was listening to the songs. After a while, I noticed that the driver was looking at me through the side mirrors. At first, I ignored it. We were on the flyover and on the left side. Any vehicle that will overtake us will be from the right side. However, he kept on looking into the left side of the mirror. I felt a little uncomfortable. I shifted towards the right side. He then changed his angle and now started looking into the right side of the mirror. He was both looking forward and into the right side of the mirror now.
I then shifted to the extreme left. I shifted to the extreme left, thinking I would get down from the auto if I were left with no option. I noticed him. He looked into the right mirror, then left and then he turned back to look at me. He turned again and again. My mind stopped working.
I took out my phone and opened the Uber app. I looked for the safety option. Found it. Dialled the number. A distorted robotic voice was what I heard for a few seconds. I sat numb. I then gathered the courage and confronted him, saying that I would lodge a complaint. And that he should focus on driving, thinking that he would stop doing what he was doing. To this, he told me to go ahead. ‘Kardo,’ he said. I then redialled the Uber safety number but to no avail. Unlike previously, I couldn’t hear anything at all. After a few seconds, I disconnected the call. I thought of reaching out to them via Twitter. I wrote, ‘I am travelling…’ on Twitter and exited the app. I then made a short video saying that I would raise a complaint. He gestured in ‘yes’.
We were a few minutes away from my destination. I thought of tagging Uber and sharing the incident once I reached my destination. I was using a map to ensure that we were going in the right direction. The payment was online. I got down without interacting with him and clicked pictures. A picture of him and his auto.
I walked for a few minutes and reached my friend’s place. I told her about the incident that had just happened to me. She was all ears and said that they do things like this. I then sat down and took the exam. Two hours long exam. Mostly MCQs and a few subjective questions. After my exam, we started discussing the incident again.
Later in the night, I shared my ordeal on Twitter. I tagged Uber. I wanted them to take strict action against the driver who had no regard of the female passenger.
March 4, 2023
It’s afternoon. I am still writing this blog. At the same time, thinking, ‘When will people acknowledge that eve-teasing is a crime?’ It took them a film to understand that ‘No Means No’.
For those endlessly trolling me, I am a working journalist with a leading media house, and I don’t need TRP. Second, someone’s good rating on the app doesn’t justify their behaviour. I felt really uncomfortable with what he was doing, and I reported the same. Third, for those thinking that I did all this to not pay the driver, pity on you. I made the payment. Fourth, if you think that you can break my spirit that revolves around bringing about a change, you can’t.
I am also thinking about the in-app safety feature provided by Uber. There could be a direct line. There could be better mechanisms to ensure the safety of the passengers. I just think I am not sure whether they will act upon it or not. But what I am sure about is that I did the right thing, and even if I am alone in this fight, I will fight for the truth. Fight for all the women who have gone through this and ignored it. And for all those who wanted to raise their voices but couldn’t. For those, who could have raised their voices but didn’t, thinking who would believe them.
As I wrap this up, I hope a change will follow soon.
