Things to avoid while apologising: Therapist shares tips

We need to apologise sincerely but when we use the word ‘but’ it takes the focus away from the pain inflicted on others, and focuses on other problems.

Published on: Jul 08, 2022 1:44 PM IST

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Published on Jul 08, 2022 1:44 PM

Owning the mistakes committed by us in a relationship are extremely important. It is also important to learn how to apologise in order to own up to the ways in which we would have hurt our partners or the people concerned. Psychotherapist Emily H Sanders addressed the issue and shared tips on what to while apologising - “A good apology needs to acknowledge the offense directly and the pain that was caused,” read an excerpt of her post. (Unsplash)

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Don’t over-do: It is important to apologise for the mistakes and the hurt that you may have caused, but going on and on about it can make them feel the need to comfort you. (Unsplash)

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Don’t use but: We need to apologise sincerely but when we use the word ‘but’ it takes the focus away from the pain inflicted on others, and focuses on other problems. (Unsplash)

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Tossing out apologies: An apology is not our ticket to get out of a difficult conversation. In order to have a healthy relationship, we need to get through hard conversations as much as we should apologise when needed. (Unsplash)

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Harmful apologies: We should be aware of situations where an apology can cause more harm to the other person. Hence, we should be mindful when and where to offer apology. (Unsplash)

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Change: An apology comes with the intent of bringing in changes in behavior. In case there is no such intent, we should not offer apologies. (Unsplash)

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Forgiveness: When we apologise, we should also give considerable time and choice to the other person to forgive us. Forgiveness shouldn’t be forced. (Unsplash)