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Be the best you can be

How can you better your best? Chitra Jha offers some simple advice

education Updated: Oct 06, 2010 09:33 IST
Chitra Jha

Each one of us wants to be/ do/ have better than we currently are/do/have. We want to be smarter/ happier/ richer/ thinner/ wittier/ more successful/ more lovable and more popular than we are right now.

We want to do better in studies, jobs and relationships. And why not? Why should we settle for something less than we can be/ do/ have? We must fulfil ourselves and live up to our highest potential.

Why is it that we don’t achieve our highest potential? It is because we don’t operate out of mature, adult judgement. We don’t take the most appropriate course of action. We don’t make intelligent, considered choices in our best interest. We operate out of some outdated attitudes that we acquired in our formative years. We don’t know what damaging thoughts are lurking right below the level of our conscious awareness. Yes, our subconscious attitudes make us behave in a certain manner. The reality is that we are not in control of our attitude; our attitude controls us. We are not even consciously aware of our pre-dispositions and attitudes.

How can we take corrective measures to be the best we can be? Here are some pointers:
. Don’t compare yourself with your more successful friends and relatives. This comparison confirms your underlying beliefs of inferiority and inadequacy.
. Don’t criticise yourself for your imperfections. Your criticism strengthens your painful thoughts about your inadequacy.
. Be happy. While thinking of living a better life, remain happy with what you have. This seems like a paradox, but it is the primary mantra for a better life. Being happy increases your energy field and
attracts opportunities towards you.
. Always love and respect yourself. Make a list of your qualities that you can respect and love yourself for.
. Be honest about your feelings. If you are feeling unworthy, accept this feeling.
. Setbacks are a part of life. They help you learn from your mistakes. Everyone fails at something at some point or the other.
. Don’t feel unworthy of success. Each one of us deserves to have a great life.
. In life, both good and bad happens. Accept both experiences with equanimity.
. Live and let live.
. Don’t look for security. Anything physical is not permanent. Look for growth and evolution instead.
. The results will be seen at the right time. Keep doing your work with faith and commitment.
. No one is better than or less than others. Each one is a unique individual capable of achieving the best.
. Don’t unnecessarily try to please others. Be pleasant with all.
. Don’t rebel against authority. Be amiable.
. Don’t be too submissive.
. Don’t blame others for your problems. Take complete responsibility for all that you have in life.
. Don’t criticise others. It lowers your vibrations and attracts criticism of your actions. Criticism of any kind always re-bounces to you.
. There is no need to plan ‘everything’ in advance. Keep room for uncertainties.
. Don’t see life in terms of ‘always’ and ‘never’; ‘right’ and ‘wrong’; ‘black’ and ‘white’; ‘winner’ and ‘loser’. Follow the middle path.
. Arguments can never be won. Accept others’ point of view but follow your truth.
. Don’t be stubborn. Listen to others.
. If someone doesn’t agree with you, so be it.
. Don’t feel responsible for others. Your primary responsibility is to yourself. Help others become responsible for themselves.
. Don’t evaluate others on the basis of external appearances. Things are not always as they might seem. Respect everyone.

The author is a life-skills coach, time-line therapist, and new consciousness writer. Contact:

First Published: Oct 05, 2010 13:37 IST