The 3-step campus survival guide
At any college counter
Say 'please' and 'namaste' and no 'bhaiyya'. Remember, the chap taking your fees, scrutinising your forms, handing out the prospectus is God. He has every power to send you scuttling for cover or make you stand in queues for hours or simply walk off for his afternoon chai. So no arrogance, or ordering him around. Leave your ego at home. Say 'namaste ji', or 'hello' or 'hi' or 'good
morning/afternoon', 'please help me.' Look woebegone, lost… Wear earrings for effect. And no calling anybody bhaiyya or uncle.
Don't forget the survival kit
You are dead without your water bottle, flip-flops, cut-offs (jeans, not marks), glares, huge tote bag, cellphone glued to ears and ganjee.
Latch on to the friend
You need some urgent accessorising cum help. Get a buddy to college or find one on campus. He or she can help you fill forms, carry your water bottle/tote bag/flip-flops etc. Lend a shoulder for you to weep on should bhaiyya at the info counter make you wait too long… Can also hang around with you doing nothing. Keep her and him in good humour so that when colleges start s/he can maaro proxy for you too.