Cool aaj aur cool
It’s been a year for show stoppers, recession-effect blotters, Hari Putars, Harry Potters, trade round-ups for yearly quarters, well-behaved star daughters, media news jotters and hero hot trotters. Ashok Rai goes trend spotting.
It’s been a year for show stoppers, recession-effect blotters, Hari Putars, Harry Potters, trade round-ups for yearly quarters, well-behaved star daughters, media news jotters and hero hot trotters.
Ashok Rai goes trend spotting...
Forty-year-old virgins
It was back to the 1960s retro-purity era. When heroines were pure as driven snow..and men quacked like Donald Ducks on confronting anything close to..er..sex.
With Ghajini just out, it’s clear that the 40-plus vendetta seeker has just not had the time or inclination for women. Which is why Aamir Khan falls head over heels in love with Asin. Pehla pehla pyaar.
Cuuuuute?
In Rab ne Bana Di Jodi, ditto Shah Rukh Khan who travels to another town, from Amritsar, and falls in love with a Dupatta Damsel viewed in a top shot from a terrace. Cuuuuute?
Salman Khan has kept all girls at a barge pole distance before Katrina Kaif in Yuvvraaj, and believe you this, Kats is also the first girl in the life and times of Akshay Kumar in Singh is Kinng. Cuuuute, don’t know, don’t know.
Now tell me what’s the difference between these heroes and Pradeep Kumar (lord bless his soul) who’d do a Donald Duck before Meena Kumari in their heyday?
Except for one solitary exception..when they met on a Bheegi Raat..which was also the name of the movie by the way.
Those were and are the days
Very old-fashioned phonaholic man is back. If Shammi Kapoor answered a battery of phone calls simultaneously in Junglee, so does Aamir Khan in Ghajini, and that too landlines.
Shah Rukh Khan whispers into a mouthpiece, “Punjab Power here” (pun intended?). Also after years, a woman actually falls down and touches her pati parmeshwar’s feet.. a sight that had vanished with the Jeetendra- Jaya Prada-Sridevi movies. Why bring it back, Adityaji huzoor?
In Yuvvraaj Salman Khan watches Kats go about in a horse drawn carriage (hellooo?). And Singh-Kinng Akshay Kumar makes Kats fall in love with him, essentially by dancing with her at the pyramids (decades ago, they would have danced around Mumbai’s Aarey Milk Colony.. but that’s another story.)
Brain’s better than brawn, aah finally it’s all about being like Dilip Kumar over Dara Singh.
Never mind those musk-melon-sized muscles of our Aamir Khan in Ghajini, it’s his intelligence that at last saves the day. Meaning, he knows exactly at what point to pick up an iron rod and throw it at Gold Tooth Darinda. He knows his spellings for his chest graffiti even if, quite neurotically, the medical college doesn’t (spelling ‘neuro’ as ‘nuero’) on a case study file. He’s brainy.
Rab ne Bana Diya’s SRK talks literary lingo (words to the effect that he doesn’t need love beyond a certain quantity).
Salman Khan finally gets the girl, the money and the ear ring, which wouldn’t have been possible without a ticking mind. And Akshay Kumar’s Singh is Kinng is a hit which wouldn’t have been possible if he had not thought up such a clever title which was also used at political shibirs.
Younger woman syndrome
For Ghajini, Aamir Khan who started out with Juhi Chawla, now teams up with Asin and Jiah Khan, the latter being a Lolita who once tempted yet another older generation.
SRK who began with Divya Bharati and Kajol is teamed with Anushka Sharma, the age gap being quickly mentioned and dispensed with by Aditya Chopra’s script. What Adi bhai?
Salman Khan who started out with Bhagyashree and Revathy is into Katrina Kaif, and Akshay Kumar who first popped up withShanti Priya in Saugandh is also into KK. And no one’s talking about cradle snatching.. male stars have a longer shelf-life.. as if they were particularly well-bound paperbacks.
They must be into action now
Forget Bharata Natyam skills, dramatic intensity or Hindi-speaking abilities. If you can kick a leg, shout, “Awooooo” (not like Shakti Kapoor though) and slip into leotards, cool, man, cool, you’re boss lady. Prime examples: Priyanka Chopra and Deepika Padukone (into martial arts in a China movie)
Bikini bug
Size-zero can’t rescue a crummy movie though (note Tashan), but it can keep the nation making Kareena Kapoor their dream gal No 1. Now all will wear a bikini – like Priyanka Chopra did in Dostana — but only if it’s relevant to a movie…if we hear that ever again, we’ll yell and wear bikinis ourselves (indoors).
Advantage, husky voice
Just love that Marlene Dietrich-kinda husk, man. Note Bipasha Basu husking that she only drinks a particular brand of mineral water. And to think, they used to dub her voice once…could they re-dub Jism, please..and re-release?
