Can’t stan this: How to stop being a crazy fan

There’s a fine line between being a fan and being obsessed. Here’s how to stop yourself from veering into crazy stan territory

Wearing a red football jersey every game day? Normal. Knowing the lyrics to all of Taylor Swift’s songs and dancing to Love Story? Normal. But fighting strangers, friends and family because they believe DC makes better movies than Marvel, or that Chelsea saves goals better than Liverpool, or that Danish Sait is overrated? You may want to check yourself, Stan.

Someone says they don’t like Shah Rukh Khan? Relax; it isn’t a personal attack.

Fandoms are wonderful things. They help you find your tribe, make you believe in something larger than yourself. Daniel Wann, who researches the psychology of sports fandom at Murray State University in the US, describes being a fan as a “very psychologically healthy activity,” in his public posts. Being around like-minded people lifts us up. It satisfies our human need for belonging, he says. Besides, where else will you spend your expendable income, if not on overpriced merch? But there’s a clear line between loyalty and toxic obsession; between the ARMY and a troll army. Heed these signs.

Fans of late Argentinian footballer Maradona set up a church in his honour. Bit much.

Everything seems personal, suddenly. American marketing agency Buzz Radar used AI to scan 100 million posts on 2,47,000 Formula 1 fan accounts since 2016. They published their findings in February. Turns out, the community has become much more negative over the decade. The AI tool calculates that we can expect a further increase in toxicity (including death threats against drivers) over the next 18 months.

Don’t be that person, even outside of F1 fandom. Someone says they don’t like Shah Rukh Khan and your blood pressure spikes? Pause. If you’re constantly reaching out to strangers in comment sections to defend your idol, treat that as the first red flag. It means your identity is so tightly bound to a celebrity, team or a fictional character that criticism towards them feels like a personal attack. It means, you’re no longer defending art. You’re defending yourself.

Jodie Foster’s stalker John Hinckley believed he could “impress” her by killing someone.

You hate on people for having a different favourite. Of course, there’s a Team Selena and a Team Hailey – competition is what keeps fandoms alive in the first place. But if you spend more time attacking the opposition than having a good time, and find yourself liking hate posts, smack talk, personal put-downs, and hateful language simply because they’re aimed at an opposing group, it’s a good sign that you’re not a fan, you’re a bully.

Betting firm AceOdds used the main subreddit for every 2024/25 Premier League club to rank the most toxic fanbases in the league. Turns out Fulham fans are the nicest (3.23% vulgar comments). The worst: Wolverhampton Wanderers (7.43%), Nottingham Forest (7.12%) and West Ham (6.59). Supporting one side, one team, one idea, one band should feel good. It shouldn’t make you want to tear someone down.

The word “stan” originated from Eminem’s 2000s song of the same name.

You feel like you ‘know’ your idols. Consuming all that content – all the films, all the promo clips, all the matches, all the GRWM vids, all the interviews – can trigger indigestion. Most superfans believe their devotion puts them in their idol’s VIP zone, the inner circle. They believe they’re now buddies with a famous person they’ve never met.

Dr Laurel Williams, psychiatry and behavioural sciences researcher at Baylor College of Medicine in the US, says celebrities actively cultivate this artificial intimacy. They give people a peek into their lives and create a persona that their fans can emotionally invest in, because more interaction means more prestige and more money.

On the flip side, some fans start to believe that they have power over their idols. They lash out when there’s a new partner in the picture, when a movie casts a non-White actor, or when an actor keeps part of their life private. If you haven’t realised that celebrity personas are curated to harvest fan attention, you might be in too deep.

You crumble when they crumble. When a sports team loses, commiserating as a group helps individuals hold on to their self-esteem. But when a celebrity messes up morally, it’s a test as much of the fan as the idol.

Fan support, however strong, doesn’t right a wrong. Rational fans should be able to appreciate someone’s work while also holding them accountable for bad behaviour. A true supporter would expect better from their idol, instead of condoning their bad behaviour. If you can’t process that someone criticising your favourite celebrity has nothing to do with you, that line’s been crossed already.

From HT Brunch, August 02, 2025

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