Passions: The Queen and us

The launch of a doll to commemorate Queen Elizabeth’s 96th b’day, gets two passionate men talking about India’s colonial hangover

“The British royals are the symbolic face of Britain, not India”

Britain’s Queen Elizabeth II got her own Barbie in celebration of her 96th birthday, which also celebrates 70 years of her reign

By Onir

Onir says that before the British colonised India, women did not change their last names after marriage

India suffers from a huge colonial hangover. We are obsessed with fair skin. We get excited about the Oscars.

Women follow Western standards of beauty. All this has come from our colonial experience and is now part of our thinking.

I don’t understand why, when we constantly talk about the invasion of the Mughals, we don’t talk about the British destruction of our heritage. The Mughals gave us monuments, food, music and so on. The British drained India economically, destroyed our gurukul system and divided us on the basis of religion. These are issues we still suffer from today.

Yet, we are obsessed with what’s happening to Prince Harry, what happened with Princess Diana, and the Barbie doll based on Queen Elizabeth II. The British royals are the symbolic face of Britain, not India. Why get excited about them?

Before the British colonised India, women did not change their last names after marriage. Now, most married women change their last names. In pre-colonial India, women could be warriors. Now it’s taken years for women to get into the Army! And Article 377 of the Indian Penal Code? This discriminated against all non-heterosexual sexualities and was introduced to India by the British.

It’s important to recognise history. We must not erase it by renaming places and monuments. But it’s even more crucial to look at history in the correct context.

Onir is a film and TV director, editor, screenwriter and producer.

“We love the British royal family for their palaces and horses”

By Abbas Momin

Abbas says a barbie doll that looks like the queen will make the monarch of a nation a toy in the hands of your offspring

Why are Indians obsessed with the British royal family? It boils down to two things— palaces and horses.

I am typing this in my flat in Mumbai where the square footage only allows me to fry an egg on the stove if I sit on my commode, but probably paying the same rent as those living in Buckingham Palace. Naturally, then, I want to know about the lives of the palace people whose daily routines only seem to be to wake up, have a cup of tea, wave to people from the balcony, take a nap, wave from the balcony some more, and then get dressed in ball gowns and tuxedos after which they get into horse— drawn carriages and trot off to parties. What a life!

Which brings me to my second point: Horses. Imagine the look on your colleagues’ faces if you turned up at the office on a horse. To hell with traffic, parking spaces and Uber fares! At this point in time, only the members of royal families have undeniable access to horses.

I am writing this because Queen Elizabeth II Barbies have just been released. There are apparently no wrinkles on the said Barbie. Brilliant! For a few minutes every day, the monarch of a nation will be a toy in the hands of your offspring. Go ahead. Give your kids the gift of a God complex.

Abbas is a Mumbai-based stand-up comedian, podcaster and producer.

From HT Brunch, May 7, 2022

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