CBSE result: Psychologist warns 5 things parents should avoid saying to students that may backfire

Parents can make mistakes while supporting children during stressful academic times, especially after board exam results. Here's what to know.

The Central Board of Secondary Education (CBSE) declared the Class 12 board exam results on May 13, 2026. Board exam results are usually a major source of stress for children, as important academic milestones like these carry immense scrutiny, cognitive pressure and emotional weight.

Find out how to avoid saying things which may backfire. (Picture credit: Gemini AI)

For many students, this phase is very vulnerable as they also simultaneously navigate entrance exams, college admissions and uncertainty about the future.

In such emotionally charged moments, parents play an important role in shaping the atmosphere at home through their reactions and responses. Essentially, they are authority figures, so children look up to them and recalibrate their own emotions to their reactions. And even otherwise children may experience a range of emotions after seeing their results, whether the marks matched their expectations or not. So at this juncture, what parents say is important, because even well-meaning comments can backfire, albeit unintentionally and hit the child's confidence and self-worth.

To gain a more nuanced understanding of what parents should and should not say during this sensitive time, HT Lifestyle spoke with child psychologist, Preeti Kwatra, co-founder and CEO of Petals Preschool and Daycare. She brought clarity to how important words are, and even the well-intentioned ones can sometimes carry unintended meanings that children can interpret otherwise.

“Children are always building a picture of who they are. A compliment with a hidden sting doesn't fade; it settles in and starts colouring that picture. We may not control every space they grow through, but we can be mindful of the voices that become their inner voice,” she described on the nuances.

Irrespective of the result, parents may try to console, comfort, or praise their children, but the wording is important.

The psychologist listed certain phrases and explained why they may unintentionally backfire, affecting a child's confidence, emotional expression, and self-worth over time:

1. ‘You are so smart, I knew you would do well’

• Sounds like praise, but can tie their self-worth entirely to achievement.
• The next time they do not perform well, they may feel like they have failed as a person, not just in an exam.
• When ability becomes identity, failure stops being a moment and starts feeling like a verdict.
• Statements like this creates fear of failure and the need to constantly perform and anxiety when it comes to making mistakes.

2. 'Don't cry, you are stronger than this'

• Crying is not a sign of weakness. Children are trying to move through something they don’t yet have the words for.
• Telling them not to cry does not build resilience. It teaches them that certain emotions are better swallowed than expressed.
• In long-term, they may struggle with communication sadness.

3. At least you tried, not everyone can win

• First half is fair as acknowledgment is important. The second quietly undoes it, discouraging.
• Children pick up on subtext quickly, and ‘not everyone can win’ can settle in as a gentle confirmation that they are among those who won’t.
• Lowers confidence and undermines self-worth.

Reassuring words and praises can backfire. (Picture credit: Gemini AI)

4. ‘You are so much better than your brother/sister at this’

• Comparison framed as a compliment is still comparison.
• It shifts a child’s motivation from personal growth to staying ahead of someone they love, and that is rarely a healthy place to anchor self-worth.
• May create unhealthy competition between siblings, focus on outperforming.
• Child begins to attach self-worth to being ‘better’ than someone else rather than focusing on personal growth.

5. 'See? You didn't need help'

• If a child passed without any extensive network of tuitions, it often comes across as praise, but children may misinterpret it as a sign that asking for help is undesirable.
• Over time, children who internalize this tend to stop reaching out, not because they are managing well, but because independence has become the only thing that earns approval.

In the end, there is usually no script for parents, so they are bound to make mistakes. However, learning from them is important.

Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your doctor with any questions about a medical condition.