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Father’s Day: Boundless bounty of fatherhood
This Father’s Day, young fathers share the joys of fatherhood and tell us how becoming a father changed them.
It is said that a father is a child’s first hero, but what do fathers feel about their children? How does fatherhood change a man? This Father’s Day, young fathers share the joys of fatherhood with us. Whether it’s indulging their innocent, yet incessant, questions with a smile at the end of a 15-hour shift at the hospital or learning the true meaning of unconditional love from them, here is what they have to say.
“It’s the little things that one starts living and enjoy for, even if it’s being silly. What I most enjoy is that one laugh from him, seeing him and how he looks at me after I come back from work and then playing with him, making him laugh, hugging him is what makes my day. And what has changed in me ever since I became a father is that I now understand what the phrase ‘unconditional love’ truly means. It is that immeasurable love for your child. And I have realised that parenthood and fatherhood makes you more patient and more responsible human being”, says Sidharth Seth, father to 1.4 year old boy Kanav Seth.
“A mother can express her feelings, it’s difficult for a father. When my elder one was born, 14 years back, I became a kid. And now after a huge gap, with my younger one being 1.5 year old, the feeling I had holding my elder one and now younger one is the same. Daughters are such a blessing. I always think of them - their happiness, their smile. Both kids have different mindsets. Parenting has been different as we’ve all so grown over the years, so it’s different for both the kids. I feel so complete having my both daughters with me by my side,” says Akshat Juneja, father to 13 year old daughter Yagyini and 1.5 year-old daughter Krishvi.
Dr Manish Dhyani, 38-year old Chief Resident, Department of Radiology, Lahey Hospital & Medical Center, Burlington, Massachusetts, juggles not just the demands a full house with two toddlers, but also balances multi-cultural identities. Hailing from Dehradun, Dhyani married in Delhi and is now raising Agastya (4) and Avya (1) in the USA with his wife, Jeena Vaid, who is also a doctor. “For those who haven’t experienced it, it is impossible to explain what fatherhood does to you. You are suddenly this person who finds joy in the smallest things these small creatures (called kids) do. They smile, nod or even move a finger and you are suddenly finding deeper meaning in it -- much more than what it is, a kid moving a muscle. Sleepless, tired after a 12-15 hour shift at the hospital and yet these little beings make you smile and want to forget everything else in the world,” he says adding that a sense of paranoia also overtakes when you become responsible for kids. “I am making sure these munchkins have the security of everything we aim to provide for them just like my parents did. I know it’s Father’s Day, but it can never be exclusive no matter what someone says. Hats off to the single moms and dads though,” he says. By the time his second one was born, Dhyani was better prepared in terms of logistics but it was the smile on his elder’s one face that changed the world for him in that moment his girl was born. “Nothing in my life has been more gratifying to see,” he says. Playing with them and just having them around count as the best moments of his day, no matter how tough his daily grind might have been. “I could have them jumping over me, playing ball with me or just chasing me and I want in, no matter how tired I might be. Watching my son ride his bike while I ride his kids scooter next to him, watching him teach me how a race should be done or show me what I am doing wrong is just so funny but keeps me purposefully doing it wrong again and again, so he can keep correcting me,” he signs off.
Abhinav Chawla, a 35-year old engineer at GAIL, became a father for the first time in July, 2018. His daughter, Shaanvi Chawla (4) is the apple of his eye. After a long day at work, the thought of going back to his daughter keeps him motivated. “Aapki din bhar ki thakaan mitt jaati hai. I can’t express the feeling of becoming a father in words,” he says. Chawla says he really understood the meaning of the word love after his daughter was born. “Agar aap usko daantoge bhi toh bhi voh aap hi ke paas aayegi,” he says. Sharing details from the day she was born, he says that he decorated the house with balloons and got a cake. “I was feeling a mix of nervousness and excitement,” he says adding that his favourite moments with his daughter are spending time in play areas and malls. Moreover, fatherhood has made him more cautious. “I now plan my finances keeping in mind her future,” he says. For those who consider girl child a burden, he has a word of advise: “Jo log yeh fark karte hain voh galat hain. Beta ho ya beti yeh humaare haath mein hai hi nahi. Aapka beta ho ya beti, aapko usse barabar haq dena chahiye.”
The first time Sayan Mondal got to know that he is going to become a father, he was elated. “But my mind also got clouded with worries about her health, on whether I’ll be able to take proper care of her, etc. However, then I realised ultimately one is able to figure out everything, that’s how God has created us and that’s how the universe works,” says the 31-year-old Kolkata-based actor, who is father to a one year and three months old baby girl, Jahanbi Mondal. “When I first went to see her at the hospital, I was beyond happy but was wondering why she wasn’t crying. To which, the doctor nudged her leg to make her cry. I got so scared and offended at the same time. ‘Was she hurt by that nudge?’ I wondered; though it was a gentle one, but my heightened emotions towards her made me worry. I am too sensitive towards her, and protective as well,” shares Mondal, adding, “I believe she is my lady luck. I am an actor by profession, and I haven’t received that much stardom yet. But from the moment she was born, I can see positive changes in my professional life. Moreover, my family and friends respect me a lot more now as well, they see me as a wiser, more responsible and sincere person.”
“I have always been affectionate towards babies and wanted to be a father. I was on cloud nine when I saw my baby boy, Shourjjo, for the first time,” says 32-year-old Saurav Bose, who works at Kolkata Metropolitan Development Authority. “He came to us just before Christmas, and thus brought so much cheerfulness and joy into our life. Shourjjo, who is one and a half years old now, is a very happy and active child, and I am proud of him already,” Bose shares, adding, “Fatherhood brought about lots of changes in me. It turned me into a responsible person. When Covid-19 was at its peak, we were going through a lot of ups and downs; during that time, Shourjjo was our strength and pillar of hope. Whenever I saw his face, I just forgot about all the hustle bustle around me and played with him like a baby. He completes our happy family.”
Ankur Nath, a business consultant welcomed his son Ariyaansh in 2019 and admits that everything changed. “I burst out in tears as soon as I heard the news about my son being born. My mom was also there, we both teared up in happiness. It felt like a blessing. My wife got discharged and when we reached home, my mom was waiting at the door with pooja thali to welcome us with the newborn.” He continues, “The pandemic really gave us time to connect. My wife had a C-sec so I was taking everything with the baby. Cleaning diapers, feeding, bathing and everything else. I needed to be available for him all the time. I was on two weeks paternity leave, and my company was quite adjusting with the work timing, I could focus on my boy a lot more. There was a time when he would only sleep on my lap, or next to me. But now he is 3.5 year old and he sleeps in his bed . Time flies so quickly.”
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