Signs of an abandonment wound

From fear of rejection to self-sabotaging behaviors, here are a few signs of an abandonment wound.

When a person significant to us abandons us, we start to feel the fear of being abandoned again. This brings the fear of disappointing others, worrying about potential losses and threats, and thinking that we need to hold onto relationships, or they will slip from us. However, the abandonment wound can be extremely painful to deal with. The constant fear and worry leave us feeling emotionally and mentally drained, and always under the pressure of keeping everyone pleased and happy so that they do not leave us. "If you've been abandoned before, you may resonate with these 5 signs of an abandonment wound," wrote Therapist Allyson Kellum-Aguirre as she explained the signs of an abandonment wound and how it can affect us.

Signs of an abandonment wound (Pexels)

Fear of rejection: The way people criticise us or dismiss us has a significant effect in us. Especially when we come with an abandonment wound, we feel the constant fear of being rejected – this can make us feel that we are not good enough for anyone or anything.

Difficulty trusting: Because of the past experiences that we have dealt with, we feel that relationships are temporary and that they will end up hurting us. This thought makes us stay away from trusting others or being vulnerable to them.

Need for validation: The urge to constantly please people with the abandonment wound. We always feel that we need to be good enough for the people around us and ensure that we meet the expectations that they have of us. So, we are always seeking reassurance and validation from others.

Difficulty setting boundaries: We feel that if we set boundaries for ourselves, we will end up disappointing a lot of people. So, we try to make others a priority and end up facing challenges in setting boundaries for ourselves.

Self-sabotaging behaviors: The feeling of being unworthy and inadequate can make us have self-sabotaging behaviors in a relationship. From being insecure to controlling, it can affect the relationship negatively.