3 essential steps when taking a break in your relationship

Published on Sep 14, 2022 03:26 PM IST

A break can provide the necessary time and space to evaluate the relationship. If you are considering taking a break then check out the 3 essential steps by expert.

Things no one tells you about a break up(Pexels)
Things no one tells you about a break up(Pexels)

"Taking a break" is a phrase used to express what is normally intended to be a brief separation in relationships. A break may seem like a fantastic way to put your relationship on hold while you figure out what happens next when it seems like it's going nowhere or you are unsure of how to proceed. However, taking a break from your relationship need not always result in a breakup. Even while you don't always need a break to get through difficulties, you could decide to take one if it seems like the best course for you and your relationship. Every relationship is unique and will have difficult phases from time to time. Taking a break can give you time and space to think about your relationship and how you want to take it forward. (Also read: Things no one tells you about a break up)

Certified Relationship Coach, Alexandra, suggested three essential steps when taking a break in your relationship in her recent Instagram post.

1. Define what a break means to each of you

If you remember the episode in Friends where Ross and Rachel were on a break, it's clear that they each had very different interpretations of "taking a break" and that's one of the reasons the "break" wasn't beneficial for them. What you each mean by "a break" needs to be discussed because it determines your expectations so here are some examples of what you can explore

• Does the break mean "time apart" or an actual break-up?

• Will you stay in touch during the break? If yes, how often?

• Is it okay to see/date other people during the break or not?

2. Clarify your intentions for the break

Clarifying your intentions will give you both a sense of direction so that you can make the most out of it. This is about your intentions and what you're going to use the break for. Here's what that can look like:

• "I feel like I've been very active in your life and have forgotten myself lately so I need some space to rediscover myself."

• "Because we're not on the same page about important topics, I'll take this time to tune into what I want & what I'm willing (or not) to accept moving forward."

• "I've noticed that even if I love you, my doubts, intrusive thoughts, anxiety, and triggers have been leaking into our relationship and I want to learn how to manage this without hurting you so that I can come back stronger after our break."

3. Agree on the timeline of your break

Without a timeline, it can feel like you're going through a tunnel with no light at the end of it. That uncertainty can lead to an accumulation of doubts, resentment, and frustration towards the other while you're on the break. Determine when you'll reconnect so that you can decide where you want things to go.

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