Therapist shares 3 strategies to set boundaries, deal with intrusive questions and family expectations this Navratri

Festivals bring with them the pressures and expectations of stressful family interactions. Dr Mansi Poddar shares 3 ways you can set boundaries without guilt.

Festivals are often seen as a time of joy and togetherness, but they can also stir up hidden tensions, unmet expectations, and emotional exhaustion - especially within families. Learning to set healthy boundaries during this time is not about distancing yourself from loved ones, but about creating space where interactions feel safe, genuine, and emotionally balanced.

In an interview with HT Lifestyle, Dr Mansi Poddar - a trauma-informed psychotherapist and mental health expert with over 15 years of experience - highlights the importance of setting boundaries with family during the festive season. She emphasises that setting boundaries not only protects your emotional peace but also allows for healthier, resentment-free interactions with loved ones. The therapist outlines three strategies to help you define your personal space and reduce anxieties tied to family expectations.

Why is it important to set boundaries?

It is important to understand that setting boundaries does not mean rejection - it should be seen as a means of improving connection and understanding. “Boundaries do not mean keeping others at a distance; rather, it means being, above all, genuine and safe,” explains Dr Poddar. “They will allow you to show up present and engaged, from a place of wholeness, not emotional exhaustion.”

The following are the three strategies outlined by the therapist:

1. Identifying what drains you

According to Dr Poddar, the first step to setting boundaries is identifying your non-negotiables - what exhausts you emotionally and what protects you. She explains, “For instance, perhaps particular conversations or dynamics leave you feeling anxious or small. It is permissible to navigate the conversations differently or walk away. You do not have to engage in every argument you are invited to join.”

You can respectfully avoid conversations that trigger you by utilising language like - “I'd prefer not to speak about this now,” or “Let's talk about something else.”

Family gatherings can be exhausting. Identifying your boundaries is important. (Pexel)

2. Time boundaries

The therapist stresses the importance of setting boundaries regarding how much time you want to devote to each event or individual, and recognising the point where it gets taxing.

She explains, “If you find visits to be emotionally draining, reduce the time of the visit; acknowledge your right to say 'no' without guilt. After all, if you are burnt out, the act of trying to please everyone will only lead to resentment.”

3. Think of responses in advance

Catching up with family members after a long time undoubtedly entails unwelcome, intrusive questions that you would rather not engage with. According to Dr Poddar, “It can also be helpful to think of different ways to respond in advance, especially when you expect someone to ask an intrusive question or make a critical comment. Practising your responses can help minimise the emotional toll of dealing with the responses.”

Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult a mental health professional if you are struggling with mental health issues.