Ande ka funda: Is there anything more perfect than a well-done egg?

They’re a good snack, a great side, and even go well with caviar. Kunal Vijayakar pays tribute to the versatile anda.

When I first moved out of my parents’ house into my bachelor pad, all those many years ago, my kitchen had not yet been set up and cooking food for just myself was just too tedious a task. Most of my meals would be at the mercy of friends and their kitchens, or the home-cooked meals my mother had secretly stashed for me in the freezer. But there were many evenings, when I’d be driving home alone after a long day at work and suddenly remember that I was famished, that I had to feed myself, and that lamentably my kitchen stove was cold. I would have to either heat or defrost or order out a meal, since there was no food at home. All this when all I wanted was to just get home, kick my shoes off, and eat and sleep at the same time.

I recently discovered a takeaway place in Parel called Egg-xited and they make a fantastic Egg Ghotala, which is scrambled egg mashed together with spices, tomato, onion, chilli and coriander, served with boiled egg, a half-fried egg and pav.(Pratik Chorge / HT Photo)

At times like these, a large dark, unwashed lady with a gutter mouth was my saviour. She would be sitting at the foot of the crowded Elphinstone Road bridge, right outside a local country liquor bar, on a throne of wooden racks. She was mammoth and bovine and she sat there as if she had never stood or walked in her entire life. In that seated position she would conduct her business with cacophonous aplomb without budging. Her business? She sold boiled eggs. That’s it. Nothing else. She just sat there with huge vessels full of water boiling eggs, and sold them to those who were either staggering in, or staggering out from behind the dirty curtain of the country liquor bar.

There is something that binds drinking liquor and eating boiled eggs together. Maybe it’s the poor man’s non-veg snack. Since the beginning of time, and long before Shetty bars started serving boiled channa and papad, a hard-boiled egg quartered vertically, seasoned with salt and pepper, has been the snack you order with your quarter of booze. Those boiled eggs were my dinner on several occasions.

The hard-boiled egg is generally deemed most unassuming, pointless and humdrum, because it seemingly requires very little skill to make. Yet if you Google the two words ‘Boiled’ and ‘Egg’ together, a barrage of websites threaten to divulge the mystery of “How to boil the perfect egg”. According to the Larousse Gastronomique, the bible of French cooking, fresh eggs should be boiled with their shells in boiling water for 10 to 12 minutes and then plunged into ice water and left to cool for 7 to 8 minutes, before shelling.

I think I must have learned how to boil eggs when I was 8 or 10. At our house, boiled eggs were always made into sandwiches. The eggs were chopped finely and mixed with even more finely chopped green chillies, then folded into gooey home-made mayonnaise, seasoned, and the mixture tucked between slices of fresh white bread.

The edges of the bread were then trimmed and the result was a dainty, soft cushion of a sandwich, just perfect to take to school or on a long drive. I still dream of hard-boiled-egg sandwiches and the best, of course, are made at the Willingdon Club or at Sunshine Snack Corner at Hampton Court, Colaba. Both are generous with the egg and the mayo.

The other thing we did at home, which you must try, is to slice hard-boiled eggs (with a slicer) into discs and lay them on salty, round Monaco biscuits. With a spoon or squeezer squeeze just one drop of tomato ketchup on the yolks and garnish each with a sprig of parsley. These make simple and super starters. Trust me, they taste wonderful.

But never underestimate the modesty of the boiled egg. Its humility can take on the vanity of a gourmet dish anytime. For example, Devilled Eggs, a dish that had a place at every cocktail party in post-World War II America. To make Devilled Eggs, slice the eggs in half lengthwise and gently remove the yolks. Now to these yolks add mayonnaise, vinegar, mustard, salt and pepper, and mash it all together to make a smooth paste. With a piping bag, pipe the paste back into the cavities of the empty egg whites. Sprinkle with paprika and serve.

Another classical boiled egg dish, which I never miss when in London, are Scotch Eggs. My favourites are from the luxury food shop Fortnum & Mason in London’s Piccadilly, who claim to have invented the eggs in 1738 as a travel meal. Freshly boiled eggs are wrapped in herb-flavoured sausage meat, crumbed and then deep-fried until golden and crisp. Ideally, the yolk should be left a bit runny. 

Even on a Classic Caviar Plate, the caviar on crushed ice is served with finely chopped red onion, chives, boiled eggs (yolk and white finely chopped but separately), lemon wedges and Melba toast points. There is apparently no more romantic way to serve caviar.

But the streets of India can take anything gourmet and make it hard-boiled and potent. Like the eggs at Vadodara’s Raju Omlet Centre. I first ate there several years ago and keep going back whenever I want to avoid a Gujarati thali. You should watch the owner, Rajesh Bhogilal Rana, chop up a boiled egg, toss it on a pan with a wedge of butter and add onion, tomato, spices, sauces, chillies and coriander to create the egg version of a Pav Bhaji. It’s the highest meridian for one who loves eggs as well as Indian street food.

Of course there are many more versions, including plain hard-boiled eggs tossed in butter and powdered spices; a dish with green masala; something called Butter Boiled Tikka Rice.

Most of the so-called Khau Gullies of Mumbai do different kinds of boiled egg concoctions on a tava with masala and pav, and I even discovered a takeaway in Parel called Egg-xited. How apt is that? Besides the Boiled Egg Kheema Pav, they make a mean Egg Ghotala with Pav (scrambled egg with boiled egg and a half-fried egg mashed together with spices, tomato, onion, chilli and coriander). Something called Cheese Undsand, which is an omelette filled with one boiled egg and one half-fried egg. And a Cheese Lapeti with Pav, a boiled egg with gravy, cheese and mayonnaise all wrapped in an omelette.

The piece de resistance is the mother of a bhurji, the Boiled Egg Bhaji — a mock vegetable made of boiled eggs with onion, tomato and coriander all cooked in oil with a tempering of mustard, cumin, asafoetida, ginger, turmeric, chili powder, garam masala powder and amchur. It’s epic!

After all they say about how too many eggs are not healthy, I have to say I cannot deal with just egg whites. I mean, I don’t occasionally mind an egg-white omelette, but with lots of spices and the yolk, of course.