Malavika’s Mumbaistan: Ticket to Ride
Kangana Ranaut appears to be on a roll. Ever since she essayed the role of a railway employee in the upcoming movie ‘Panga’, to be released in January next year, the actress had promised her fans that she would sell tickets to railway passengers.
And true to her word, Monday saw the consummate performer and her team turn up at one of Mumbai’s most iconic and busy stations — the Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj Terminus (CSMT) — in order to do just that: Sit at the ticket window and sell tickets to unbelieving and shocked-out-of-their-wits (some in a good way, we hope) commuters.
(Question: When was the last time a megastar tried to sell you a ticket? And no, Rajinikanth doesn’t count as he became a star AFTER his bus conducting days).
Dressed simply in a white floral salwar-kameez, the actress happily recreated a scene from her film in which she plays a former kabaddi champ-turned-railway employee, who attempts to make a comeback to the professional sport.
Incidentally, the film’s tagline — “Jo sapne dekhte hain, woh #Panga lete hain (those who dream also fight)” — appears to mirror the firebrand’s real-life credo.
The OTSHF was ashen-faced when we dropped into her well-appointed apartment earlier this week, at her urgent behest.
“What is the world coming to?! It’s beyond shocking!!” she managed to croak and then collapsed dramatically into her petit point lace cushions.
What is beyond shocking, we enquired worriedly. Even by her standards of Drama Central, the OTSHF had seldom looked in such high dudgeon.
She began in a low tremulous voice: “What I’m about to tell you is shocking: You must be aware of the recent spate of violence across the country over the government’s proposed CAA and NRC…” she said.
As is known, the OTSHF regards herself as something of an ‘intellectual’ ever since she began subscribing to The Economist and other news journals on her iPad.
As a result, her opinions and declarations on the state of the world were always on point and au courant. “You must be aware of the widespread disruption of law and order through violence and arson because of these protests,” she continued.
And then her voice faltered. “But not in a million years will you believe who is really behind all of it,” she said.
At this point we shot her a ‘get on with it lady, we don’t have all day’ look.
“It’s our dear friend SIMI,” wailed the OTSHF. “Who would have ever thought that the elegant and ever graceful actress and talk show host could do such things…”
Huh? That’s utter and complete nonsense, we said. What on earth makes you say such a ridiculous thing…
But if the OTSHF was certain of anything at all, it was her facts. And sure enough she called up the website on her iPad to prove her point. “A recent intelligence report shared with the Ministry of Home Affairs, alleges that some ‘political parties’ and SIMI are behind the violent protests in several places across the country”, it read.
“That poor, poor misdirected lady,” sobbed the OTSHF, adding, “And to think I ran into her at the club shop just the other day. Buying artichokes.”
What could we do under these circumstances, dear reader, but add our two bits.
“That was obviously just a subterfuge,” we said. “Good grief, Simi!!! What indeed is the world coming to?”
Been nearly 6 years — still waiting for the old man in a white beard to come down the chimney and leave the 15lacs near the tulsi ka jhaad in my house as promised...
- Tweeted by comedian Atul Khatri
Mulled wine, mistletoe and selfies
It’s the time of plum puddings, mulled wine and mistletoe, and who better than Bollywood‘s bold and beautiful to bring in the festive spirit? Tuesday evening saw Kareena Kapoor Khan hosting an X’mas Eve party at her home, which resulted in the expected torrent of selfies of unimaginably fashionable and peerlessly glamorous people, preening for the cameras.
In one of the pictures, Khan is seen posing with fellow actress Alia Bhatt who’s dating her cousin Ranbir Kapoor, who was also present at the party. In another, she is posing with Natasha Poonawalla, BFF Malaika Arora, and Amrita Arora, as well as sibling Karishma Kapoor. Also present that evening were Sara Ali Khan, whose Insta game is even more on point. The young actress on her part posted pictures of her brother Ibrahim Ali Khan and herself suitably dressed in Christmas colours, with the accompanying text, which read: “Red nose reindeer. White snowflake. Virgin eggnog. Christmas cake. Get the party started. It’s Christmas Eve for heaven’s sake.”