Malavika’s Mumbaistan: Well played Mr G

He may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but make no mistake about it — admirers of Nitin Gadkari cut across the board and inhabit many sides of the ideological landscape.

He may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but make no mistake about it — admirers of Nitin Gadkari, minister for road, transport and highways, shipping and water resources cut across the board and inhabit many sides of the ideological landscape. From IIC policy wonks to Sauvignon socialists, from nerdy technocrats to linen liberals, they can’t seem to heap enough praise on him. What’s more, now that the general elections are drawing near, this chorus of praise for the RSS stalwart seems to be getting as loud as the whispers that he is a strong contender for the top job. A few weeks ago, industrialist Anand Mahindra tweeted in praise of the minister’s work so far in “transforming India’s infrastructural landscape”, (even comparing him to Mission Impossible’s Ethan Hunt); meanwhile , journalist Shobhaa De, tweeted, “Nitin Gadkari has teeth! But when it comes to the crunch, can he walk the talk?” Others like former banker and unsuccessful candidate for the city’s south Mumbai Lok Sabha seat, Meera Sanyal, along with pin-up boy for the country’s progressives historian Ramchandra Guha have also added their two bits recently. But, Gadkari is too politically savvy to give the impression that he’s even taking cognisance of any of this, and took to social media recently to clear the air: “Let me make it clear once and for all that conspiracies to create a wedge between me and the BJP leadership will never succeed,” he tweeted. This only added to his fandom, this time, with the chorus going, “Well played Mr G !”

Nitin Gadkari

Tweet Talk

Been nearly 5 years — still waiting for the man in a white beard to come down the chimney and leave the 15 Lacs near the Tulsi ka jhaad in my house as he promised.

---Tweeted by comedian Atul Khatri

WTSWTM

WTS

“It’s that time of the season, when there’s only one thing on every one’s mind: the arrival of the fat and jolly white-bearded man dressed in red who flies in on his fanciful private chariot.”

-One grande dame to another yesterday, while sipping Christmas pre-lunch gimlets on the verandah of SoBo’s snootiest club

WTM

“No dear, it looks like VJM’s return will still take some time.”

Verbal Minefields and Vintage Bitchery

Kirron Kher

Speaking to film and television actress, TV talk show host, and a BJP MP from Chandigarh, Kirron Kher, about her latest role as fellow-judge on a TV talent show — KJO’s favourite punching bag along with fellow-judge Malaika Arora — on their runaway social media bitch-fest called Toodles, is a bit like negotiating a verbal minefield, we discovered over the weekend. After all, Kher, an old friend almost since the day she landed in Mumbai and lived down the road from us, has long been celebrated for her irrepressible wit and pungent barbs. With KJO, she’s met her match of course, but the problem is her natural, rapid-fire rapier style of repartee has been sharpened to almost razor-like perfection now, and so, even a languid phone interview with her can give rise to opportunities for unintended bitchery. So, when we commend Kher on her spunky giving-back-as-good-as-she-gets manner, and ask her if it’s completely unrehearsed (it is), and if she’s ever been asked to pull her punches by the show’s creator (she hasn’t, in fact, Johar has told her to be even bitchier), it’s all par for the course. But, when we compliment her for putting herself together so elegantly (Gaurang and Amrapali) in spite of her getting dissed for her lack of red carpet gowns and athleisure wear, and say, “You must have to make daily visits to the beauty salon,” there is an awkward silence and the sentence sounds bitchy even to our own ears! We expect Kher to hit back with a fitting jibe of her own, in true Toodles spirit, but she lets it pass and we go on to exchange pleasantries while she tells us about her new work routine, (constituency in Chandigarh, then Parliament in Delhi, and quick sorties to Mumbai for shoots). “I love to make fun of these new airport looks and the bling and the dahlings!” says Kher, warming to her subject. “Sab bakwas ki baat karte hain,” she continues. “I think all these airport-look wale types must be carrying comfortable slippers for when they get to the plane!” she says, eliciting a guffaw from us and the words, “Ha. That’s Vintage Kirron!!” But, of course, those words take on a whole new meaning in the context of Toodles, and mercifully, Kher chooses to let that pass too, no doubt saving her fire for KJO. But, see what we mean about the verbal minefield?