Reasons why a need for control might arise

From trying to make us feel safe to struggling with trusting people, here are a few reasons why we try to control others.

Published on: Dec 05, 2023 1:40 PM IST

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Published on Dec 05, 2023 1:40 PM

Often, we feel the need to control things and people around us. People often mistake it as a personality trait – however, sometimes the need for controlling things can be deep rooted in fear of uncertainty. "If you have a need for control, you may be trying to create a sense of security and predictability. Having some control can be a positive thing, but a persistent need to control every situation can take a toll on your relationships and your mental health," wrote Therapist Allyson Kellum-Aguirre. (Unsplash)

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⁣When we struggle with trusting people around us, we are filled with the fear of uncertain behaviour patterns – this makes us want to control them.  (Unsplash)

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When we seek stability and yet we are unable to find it, we sometimes try to force it on others. This is a toxic trait.  (Unsplash)

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We often fear that we will be abandoned. Hence, we try to control people to understand what they feel about us.  (Unsplash)

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The need to make ourselves feel safe comes from the sense of certainty around us. When we are unable to find certainty, we try to control others.  (Unsplash)

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When we come with past baggage of traumatic experiences, we try to control our present to save us from getting hurt again.   (Unsplash)