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Read and repeat this tip by Cyrus: You deserve much better

From how to approach your crush to how to handle a break up, shoot your questions to Cyrus and he will answer them.

sex and relationships Updated: Nov 26, 2015 17:16 IST
Cyrus Broacha
Cyrus Broacha
Hindustan Times
Cyrus Broacha,Agony Aunt,Column
From how to approach your crush to how to handle a break up, shoot your questions to Cyrus and he will answer them.

Are you having relationship troubles? Is the long distance bothering you or do you have trust issues? Are you looking for someone to talk your heart out about these problems?

Worry not. So, TV anchor, theatre personality, comedian, political satirist, columnist and author, Cyrus Broacha is here to help you: From navigating relationship trouble to helping your love life go the distance, he’s got all the dating advice you’ll ever need from your first date to something that you can’t find a solution to.

From how to approach your crush to how to handle a break up, shoot your questions to Cyrus and he will answer them.

I’m friends with two guys. One of them used to often say “I love you”, and I would reciprocate. But he proposed to another girl. Later, the second guy proposed to me, and I accepted it. I like him, but I love the first guy. After some time, the first guy said he is going out of my and my ­boyfriend’s life, but sent me a friend request on a social ­networking site. I want the first guy. How do I get him? DS

You’ve made the same error that Adolf Hitler made in 1942 when he shaved off his ­moustache. The doctors had to sew hair from his shins onto his upper lip, as he was unable to grow a natural moustache again. Similarly, you’ve ­confounded the problem by getting yourself a ­second guy. You need to sew on your moustache. And by that I mean, you need to tell the second guy the truth. Then, come clean with the first guy as you’ve known each other long enough. Let him know you can’t replace love with false love.

I’m 44, and I recently found the mobile number of a childhood friend. She is 46. Both of us are married now. As kids, we never spoke much, but now we chat a lot on WhatsApp and talk on the phone for hours. She is not happy with her husband, and ­confessed her love for me. She is desperate to meet me, and behaves like a teenager who has fallen in love. I want to continue this ­relationship, but I’m ­worried. I love my wife and children too much. Please help. RK

Temptation is dangerous. Yesterday, I went past a bakery that had a huge Lemon Meringue Tart. I used all my mental strength to ignore it, and instead, ate seven small lemon tarts and three half-jam rolls as ­compensation. (I gave half a roll to a beggar, but not before I licked the jam off his portion). Flirting and being wanted feels great. But I say, why risk your family over this? She’s unhappy with her family. You are not unhappy with yours.

I’ve been in a relationship for two years. Once I went out with my best friend without informing my ­boyfriend because he hates him. He got to know about it later, and has been treating me badly since. Please help. RKB

Italian scientist Pollonio Parcaccion ­discovered the ­philosophy of ‘what one really wants’. He based this on seven years of research. From the age of 15 to 22, every Friday, his grandmother would take him to buy a vanilla ice cream, and even though she made young Pollonio pay for it, he never protested. He kept his peace for seven years. It was only when his grandmother was hit by a truck that he was able to cross over her still body, and buy the lemon popsicle instead. So, what do you want — the ­boyfriend or the so-called best friend? Maybe your boyfriend is right to feel insecure. Don’t wait for a truck, ask yourself what you really want.

I was in a relationship for a year and a half. I don’t even know why suddenly he broke up with me. Now, he has a new girlfriend. I’m unable to forget him. Please help me forget him. SA

When ABBA wrote the lyrics to ‘Voulez Vous’, I often wondered why they did so. The lyrics are infantile, and have too many sounds. But then I realised the ‘why’ doesn’t really matter. I liked the song for a far more noble reason. The two women looked hot. Does it really matter if he’s gone? He’s moved on, and so should you. You deserve much better.

First Published: Nov 25, 2015 19:07 IST