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Saree about That

Confused about the share market? Just watch women and learn says The Fake Jhunjhunwala. Apparently, a lot of the skills he has used in the Stock Market have been developed after carefully observing the behavior of women....

brunch Updated: Oct 31, 2011 10:33 IST
Fake Jhunjhunwala
Fake Jhunjhunwala
Hindustan Times

"Markets are like women- always commanding, mysterious, unpredictable and volatile." This is a great saying. It is a great saying not only for the genius it contains but also the perfectly executed order of words revealing the crisp analogy rhythmically designed to effectively and purposefully convey one type of intelligence needed to understand the markets.

Such a precise harmony of words could have poured forth only from the lips of the most well accomplished, strong, erudite, sexy, magnificently talented awesome person in the history of history. Now that I think of it, I clearly remember saying this. Therefore to sum up this saying is great not only for the great wisdom it reveals but also because it is great wisdom revealed by the greatest among those who possess greatness - ME.

A lot of the skills I have used in the Stock Market have been developed after carefully observing the behavior of Women. The female species is intriguing because stocks behave like Women. Some act too pricey, some are cheap, many perform silently well day in and day out but are easily overlooked for ones that simply put on a show but actually lack substance. Indeed watching women teaches one a lot about the Share Market.

During one of my recent adventures, I traveled to a city famous for its Silk exports and Silk Sarees. I shall not take the city's name because the ones who dwell in this city would then build a temple on their soil to worship ME after realizing that it was indeed I who had once walked the hallowed ground beneath their feet. I am a very humble person. I do not want to inconvenience people by allowing them to build a temple for me. Therefore I shall not take this city's name.Saree

Instead I shall tell you about what I saw. Women of all ages and all types thronged the Saree shops throughout the city. They poured over the Silk Sarees as if they were a rare delicious juicy fruit that ripened from a flower which bloomed only once in a millennium and consuming even a small bite of it would lead the taster into nirvana.

What is it about a long garment made from the saliva of a squishy worm which leaves millions of women throughout the world doting and almost frenzied into a state of blissful satisfaction?

I proceeded to ask the above question to my wife and her answer cleared things up. She said " Think of it like this, Sarees are to us what Harley Davidson Bikes and Videogames are to you"

I am now wondering if a videogame about Sarees would end up being the most successful unisex product of all time.

The Fake Jhunjhunwala is the parody writer of the popular blog 'The Secret Journal Of Rakesh Jhunjhunwala'. He likes counting money. He is a big fan of Samosas, Ice Cream, Pav Bhaji, Pizza, Garlic Bread and Beer.

His hobbies include playing Super Mario, Stalking Hot Babes and Watching B-Grade films to intensively investigate any censor board violations. He also watches Cricket and worships Sachin Tendulkar as much as he worships himself. Read more from him at

He can also be found on twitter usually ranting about Uday Chopra, The Universe and everything in between at

(The views expressed by the author are personal)

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First Published: Oct 20, 2011 13:08 IST