Love, lies and learnings: Sahil Salathia writes a V-Day guest column for HT Brunch

In an exclusive story to celebrate the day of love, the 31-year-old actor confesses that virtual dating platforms can be a minefield for all, including him!

I’ve always been picky when it comes to relationships, because I think the word ‘relationship’ itself holds a lot of meaning. Unfortunately in 2022, people don’t take it seriously.

Before you give something a chance you need to take a minute to decide whether it’s actually working for both of you. If you’re alike, if you have common interests, if you complete each other, then you get into a relationship and work towards it, like you have to work towards everything in life.

Of course, I’ve had a string of relationships; my most successful relationship was with my girlfriend from school, which went on till the end of college. Then again, I’ve never been a commitment-phobe. The kind of movies being made these days glorify that as being ‘cool’, but I don’t think that holds any value because everybody needs companionship, everybody needs a partner to support them. A relationship is meant to make you feel better, not worse.

I’ve had a string of failures as well, but I’m sure my next relationship will be a success, because I’m taking my time. Of course, I’m mingling, but I’m taking my time before putting a label on anything.

Have you been catfished on dating apps?

Fanfare

Five years ago, I would have said, “yes, of course, I’d date a fan.” Today, I don’t think so. First off, calling people ‘fans’ is quite egoistic; I’d prefer to use the term ‘admirer’ if I had to use one. But I don’t think it’s a level playing field; they already know so much about you.

I’ve actually been told many a times that people use my photos on dating apps and women do fall for it. But apps are dicey; I think both women and men need to be careful because there are a lot of creeps out there. I’ve never sent anyone a photo of my private parts, but I know a lot of my friends do receive photos like that.

Digitally yours

I do not use Tinder or Bumble. I meet people at a party, or on set, or in the gym. If I wasn’t an actor, I would probably explore an app, but I think India isn’t open to the idea of an actor or celebrity being on a dating app as yet.

Did you know there’s a dating app just for celebrities?

I can confess though, that when I’m travelling, I do use dating apps. I mean, when I’m on holiday abroad, I want to see what’s happening around me. I am also on Raya [the celebrity dating app] but I’m just exploring it; I’ve been on one date, but that’s it. I don’t even have a bio, just a shallow string of photos of me on the beach. If I had to have a bio, it would probably read: ‘not-so-serious guy looking for something serious!’

Pick me up

However, Instagram has changed the whole game. My DMs are full of these amazing pick-up lines. Just the other day this girl sent me a DM that said, “you have some audacity...” So, I opened it, because I thought this had to be someone I knew. Instead, it read, “You have some audacity...”, then had 20 full stops in a row, and then “...being this FINE.”

To be honest, I don’t mind it. I love being loved, and if it’s a cute, interesting pick-up line, then it makes my day. If I had to be cheesy, and use one myself, I’d go full-on cheesy and stick to the age-old “Is your dad a terrorist? Because you’re such a bomb,” or “Are you a bank loan? Because you have my interest!”

In canse you’ve ever thought of dating a celebrity

Dating as an actor

Dating in the public eye is challenging. The biggest challenge is to understand whether the relationship is going to be successful or not. Once you’re together publicly, unfortunately there will be a lot of eyes on you. People will talk casually about your break-ups, will make assumptions just because you’re out and about on your own, and have different versions of your relationship. You could be in the best phase of the relationship, but people will have 100 different stories.

An actor’s work should always take the limelight, or their fashion or fitness, or their social endeavours—that should have more importance than their private lives.

As told to Urvee Modwel

Sahil Salathia is an Indian actor who made his big-screen debut in Panipat

From HT Brunch, February 13, 2022

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