12 tips to let go of someone you love if you are struggling in a relationship

ByZarafshan Shiraz, Delhi
Jul 07, 2022 11:35 AM IST

Letting go of someone you love, if you are struggling in a relationship, is time-consuming, energy-draining and painful as it leaves you second-guessing but it would be cruel to remain in a relationship that is causing pain to both you and your partner. Here are 12 expert tips to do it gracefully

Whether it's through death or separation, it's always hard to let go of someone you love but if you are staying in struggling or abusive relationships because it's less painful than being alone, moving on can be harder. Yet not impossible! We know it is an intense, confusing process much like grief because even anticipating the pain is unbearable but we'd like to tell you that these are normal thoughts since letting go of someone you love, often takes several tries before actually doing it.

12 tips to let go of someone you love if you are struggling in a relationship (Alena Darmel)
12 tips to let go of someone you love if you are struggling in a relationship (Alena Darmel)

In an interview with HT Lifestyle, Sheetal Shaparia, Life Coach, Astrologer and Tasseographe, shared, “Most of us have had to let go of someone we love. It is time-consuming, energy-draining and painful. You are torn between thinking you made the right decision and second-guessing yourself. Letting go of someone you love can feel painful and not in the conventional sense of pain. Nevertheless, it would be cruel to remain in a relationship that is causing pain to both you and your partner.”

She suggested 3 tips that will help you let go of someone you love, gracefully:

1. It’s not your job to repair them - We naively think if we can help them change a trait, it will solve the relationship issues. It is not your job to make them feel good or repair the broken child in them. They owe it to themselves and to you to bring the best version of themselves into the relationship.

2. Practice gratitude - Let go of your anger, disappointments and unmet expectations and focus on feeling gratitude for what you shared and the time you spent. Be grateful for the memories created and the lessons learned.

3. Self-love - Spend time alone and do what makes you happy. If you love reading, indulge in it. Pamper yourself. Do what makes you feel good. You owe it to yourself.

Adding to the list of tips, Hussain Minawala, Founder of Beyond Thoughts, Counsellor, Vastu Consultant and Sacred Geometry Expert, recommended:

1) Decide whether the relationship is worth it - This is not a simple or to be taken lightly question. But in the end, are they the appropriate match for you?

2) Cut off contact - If you keep someone close to you, especially someone toxic, you'll never be able to recover.

3) Accept that you’re only in control of your own actions - The person you're removing from your life is probably an adult who is capable of making decisions for themselves. Don't waste your time and energy attempting to alter someone else.

4) Lean on friends and family - A friend or family member is an unbiased third person who can act as a reality check and serve as a gentle reminder that your feelings are valid and not "crazy" or "exaggerated."

5) Trust the process - It's necessary to realize that whatever immediate stress or suffering you experience will be worthwhile in the end.

6) Prioritize self-care - Your mental health may suffer greatly as a result of a breakup. So, self-care is vital, especially if you're coming from a gaslighting environment.

7) Reframe your definition of forgiveness - You need to redefine forgiveness as a gift to yourself rather than as an act of mercy. It's better for you if you secretly and unconditionally forgive someone, especially if you know it's impossible to win them over to your side.

8) Rebound with caution - Take advantage of this time to learn to love yourself. You're ready to go out and meet someone when you feel complete on your own.

9) Seek professional help - Seek the assistance of a therapist who specialises in relationship counselling if you believe that ending things with your partner won't be as simple as breaking off contact.

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