Hardballing: When you date like a boss

Some years back, being straightforward in a relationship was mistaken for being overly assertive
Hardballing is putting all your expectations on the table even before the first date
Hardballing is putting all your expectations on the table even before the first date
Published on Jan 10, 2022 12:36 PM IST
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Some years back, being straightforward in a relationship was mistaken for being overly assertive. But with time and successive strains of coronavirus, dating has drastically changed. The new term to hit the singletons is ‘hardballing’.

For the uninitiated, it is putting all your expectations on the table even before the first date. Now the purists would say ‘not romantic’; what is the novelty factor? But for current daters, this seems the best approach, as you don’t waste your time and can say no to someone who may not be as serious about a relationship as you are.

“Simply put, it means, you’re not up for mingling for fun. You know what you want from a relationship and what you’re looking for it to be a long-lasting one. You don’t want to test the waters before diving deep. So, when you come clean, in the very beginning itself, at times even without going on a first date, with your expectations, desires, needs and what being in a relationship means to you then you’re hardballing,” says Kanika Khosla, psychologist.

Hiten Malhotra, IT professional, 27 years, Gurgaon says, “For people in the dating pool right now, it works as you know what you are getting into when you choose to date someone. A clear vision for the future is important. I make sure to put everything out there, my strengths, my flaws, my future plans including marriage and kids so that the other person knows what kind of expectations they should have.”

But is it harsh? “Like with everything, it has its pros and cons. You’ll probably save yourself from certain mind games, you won’t have to put a pretence during “honeymoon period” and will be certain at all times that you’re on the same page,” adds Khosla.

It’s truthful, honest and will save one from an unnecessary heartbreak. When the individual is clear about why they’re dating and what they want from a partner, it’s very important to be upfront about that. There is no room for vague ideas. Hardballing is a no-nonsense take on relationships and we are loving it.

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Saturday, May 28, 2022