How to come up with a win-win agreement in relationship

Published on Sep 03, 2022 05:05 PM IST

From addressing the issue at hand to agreeing to review the solutions with time, here are the ways by which two people in a relationship can have a win-win argument.

How to come up with a win-win agreement in relationship(Getty Images/iStockphoto)
How to come up with a win-win agreement in relationship(Getty Images/iStockphoto)
ByTapatrisha Das, Delhi

In relationships, we often come across junctures where the perspectives and opinions of the people in it does not match at all. In fact, sometimes, the people in the relationship may think completely different from each other. This often gives rise to arguments and conflicts. Speaking of such situations, Marriage and Family Therapist Elizabeth Earnshaw wrote, “No matter who you love and how good the relationship is, you’ll absolutely come against decisions in which you both have a different preference, need, or belief about what the outcome should be. Sometimes, this leads to win/lose situations where one person takes over and the other gives in but ultimately the outcome doesn’t feel great.”

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Elizabeth further added that in such situations, we need to slow down and come to a point where both people can feel satisfied with the results - “It might also lead to lose/lose where the decision isn’t made and no one gets what they want. Instead, people can learn to slow down during disagreements, get to the core of the belief, and work together to create a new outcome, perhaps one that hasn’t even been though of before.” she further noted down a few tips which we should keep in mind to have a win-win argument in such situations:

Sharing: We should create an ideal space for both the people to share their perspectives on the outcomes of the situation.

Outcome: We should discuss why the outcomes that we think are so important to us, and why we should abide by them.

What you need: In the outcome that we have in mind, what is the thing that we mostly need in life, and then come to a decision regarding the same.

Flexibility: In order to come to a truce, we should all be aware of the spaces that we can be flexible about and are ready to compromise.

Review: Talk of the solutions that we have in mind and agree to come back to it for review from time to time.

Issue: We should be clear about the issue that needs to be solved and address it accordingly.

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