Virtual dating 101: Some dos and don’ts
Online dating in the pre-Covid world was about getting a right swipe, chatting, developing interest and dressing up to meet that date. The pandemic transformed the dating sphere with cities under lockdown, preventing physical dates.
We may be in the comfort of our own homes, but we can feel so out of our comfort zones when it comes to virtual dating. “With the advent of technology, “picture perfect romance” is just a click and swipe away. But it comes with some sort of cons as well, which can’t be neglected. We sometimes get carried away with all the attention, adrenaline rush, a gush of dopamine and serotonin release,” says Kanika Khosla, psychologist.
Urmi Bhatt, who met with her partner on Bumble during the lockdown in May 2020, says that finding trust in the online space can be a little tough for women. So, it is best to give someone the time and space she requires to build a connection. “Be clear but not overtly persistent. It’s great to ask questions and keep the conversation going, but don’t go overboard with too many messages if she is taking time. She’ll come around!”
Listen to your intuition and don’t do something you don’t feel comfortable with. “Do not feel pressured to fulfill unwarranted, strange requests from a person who you have never met. Say no to nudes or semi nudes, sexting or anything else that makes you uncomfortable,” says Khosla.
Dating through the pandemic is a challenge, but by adopting the same principles as you would in a face to face scenario, you can ensure making an emotional connection first, before progressing to the physical aspects of a relationship. Compatible relationships are those that are based on honesty, shared interests, values and visions. And fairy tales do exist in the virtual world too!
Angana Chakraborty, who met her partner on Bumble last year and within a year got married to him, shares that the honesty of their relationship helped in making the decision. Angana believes that respecting one’s boundaries is essential. “Carry on chatting with your connection if you are comfortable or politely decline, but don’t play around. We know how to take hints if you are not interested. In case a woman did not, for whatsoever reason, have the courtesy to give her closure”, she says.
Life coaches Vimal and Preeti Daga say that the behaviour you showcase with your virtual communication can make or break the deal for you. “Waving at your crush or poking them at odd hours, liking all their old pictures can put them off. Also mind your grammar and spelling and avoid typos,” they say.