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Bursting into blossom

Instead of doing what the world expects you to do, try exploring your uniqueness, says Chitra Jha

education Updated: Jul 21, 2010 09:22 IST
Chitra Jha
Chitra Jha
Hindustan Times

Have you ever done any gardening? If you have, you will know that each flower is different and unique. It has its own time for sowing; its requirements of water, manure and sunlight are different and it flowers at its own time as well. No gardener can make a flower bloom before its time. And even if s/he tried, the flower would not have obliged. Even amongst one particular species, there are some flowers that bloom early, most bloom together but some stragglers are the last ones to open out their petals. The ones that bloom early wither early as well. We can comment on their blooming schedule but can't really do anything about it.

The same truism applies to us humans as well. The only difference is the sword of expectations hanging over our heads. Everyone expects something from us; be it our parents, teachers, siblings, colleagues, spouses, society, city, or nation. We ourselves expect a lot from us; so unlike the flowers we remain under stress to perform or else!!! No one knows the answer to 'or else' but everyone is fearful of this fear of the unknown.

Faced with these expectations we lose our self- identity. We stop listening to our inner voice. Julie Cameron, an American filmmaker, says, "The voice of our original self is often muffled, overwhelmed, even strangled by the voices of other people's expectations." She is absolutely right.

Most of us unconsciously believe that we are unworthy or defective pieces of creation. This belief gets formed very early in our lives, when our parents or teachers disapprove of our behaviour, demands, desires and wishes. It is then that we decide to be good; but 'to be good' is equated with following the practiced norms in our society. In order to become good we lose our uniqueness. We start behaving and acting exactly as the significant people in our life demand; because we look up to them, because we want them to love us.

Examine your current beliefs now. Have they helped you become what you wanted to become? If not, then it is time to drop those beliefs. It is time to let go of our masks and express our uniqueness. In doing so we may behave differently than what's expected of us, but we will be expressing our deep authentic nature.
For all this time, you have protected the seed inside you. Now it is time to plant it, water it, nourish it, and let it flower. Flowering is not in your hands though. Even the Master Gardener knows it. And he waits patiently for you to blossom in your complete glory!!!!

The author is a life-skills coach, time-line therapist, and new consciousness writer. Contact:

First Published: Jul 20, 2010 13:28 IST