Suicide is not an individual failure

This article is authored by Shubhra Saxena, Indian Administrative Service (IAS) officer and author.

We often associate suicide with the young – the ones who might lack necessary life experience or resilience. Students not being able to cope with the pressures of competitive examinations. A young individual struggling in a relationship. Someone unable to deal with pressures of the workplace. But distress does not check your age when it enters your life.

Mental Health (HT File)

At 17, one may feel that an examination failure is failure at life. At 30, it could be job insecurity, isolation, debt or the pressure to appear successful. In one’s 40s, marital conflict, financial difficulties, illness or caregiving responsibilities may become overwhelming. In old age, it could be bereavement, loneliness, chronic illness, dependence or a loss of purpose. Distress can exist at every stage of life; just the nature of it may vary. Circumstances change, but human vulnerability remains.

Kota shows us one painful face of this crisis. The number of student suicides reported there in recent years should make us ask whether academic pressure alone explains what we are seeing. It also raises uncomfortable questions about a system in which a young person’s sense of worth can become tied to marks, ranks, examinations and admission to a particular institution.

Suicide, therefore, reflects the many struggles human beings experience moving through life. Each individual responds to these struggles in their own unique manner, which is based on how they perceive their internal and external realities. A person’s emotional makeup, personality and coping abilities interact with external influences such as family relationships, institutions, workplaces, societal expectations and economic circumstances. Together, they shape an individual’s emotional world and the ability to handle stress.

This is why suicide cannot be viewed only as an individual phenomenon. A society which equates worth with achievement, a family which treats vulnerability as weakness or an institution that offers no safe space for conversation intensifies a person’s sense of entrapment. When a person feels that every option is closed, this crisis intensifies.

Over the course of human history, our understanding of suicide has evolved. In parts of the ancient world, suicide was sometimes viewed through ideas of honour, duty and circumstance rather than always being seen as a moral wrong. Later, Christian theology came to regard it as a sin, based partly on the belief that life belonged to God and an individual did not have the right to end it. Over time, suicide and attempted suicide also came to be treated as offences under the law.

India too treated attempted suicide as a crime under Section 309 of the Indian Penal Code. This began to change with the Mental Healthcare Act, 2017, which recognised that a person attempting suicide was likely to be under severe stress and needed care, treatment and rehabilitation rather than punishment. When the Indian Penal Code was replaced by the Bharatiya Nyaya Sanhita in 2024, the old general offence of attempted suicide was not retained.

We have come a long way in understanding suicide, but it may not just be a medical problem. We need to remember that individuals do not exist in isolation. Every interaction with family, teachers, peers, partners, colleagues and institutions shapes a person’s resilience, and emotional intelligence. Some people deal with crises with ease because they have access to support, they can speak without fear, and have alternatives. Others who feel that they have no alternatives, may feel helpless in dealing with their pain.

Prevention must begin much closer to home. We need homes, schools, colleges and workplaces to become places where people can say, “I am not okay,” without being judged or dismissed. Professional help must be available when needed. The first person who notices that something is wrong is usually a parent, a teacher, a friend or a colleague. We need to notice more, and listen. And we need to take someone seriously when they tell us they are struggling.

We also need to think about the pressure we put on people to get life “right”. A child should be able to fail an exam without feeling that life is over. Someone should be able to leave a job, walk away from a relationship, change careers, start again or simply say, “I can’t do this anymore,” without feeling ashamed. Life does not follow one timetable, and there cannot be only one definition of a successful life.

And when someone dies by suicide, maybe we need to ask more than, “What was wrong with them?” We should try to find if there was someone they felt they could call or if anyone knew how much they were struggling. There can never be one simple explanation for why a person reaches the point of giving up. And it should not be about finding someone to blame. It should be about asking whether we could become better at being there for one another.

Suicide may happen to an individual. But prevention has to begin with all of us.

(The views expressed are personal)

This article is authored by Shubhra Saxena, Indian Administrative Service (IAS) officer and author.