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Building strong relationships: Understanding healthy vs. unhealthy needs
Whether you are looking to build a new relationship or improve an existing one, understanding these needs can help you create a strong and lasting bond.
Relationships play a significant role in our lives, providing us with love, support, and a sense of connection. A healthy relationship can bring us joy, happiness, and help us to grow as individuals. However, not all relationships are equal and it is important to understand the differences between healthy and unhealthy relationships. In a healthy relationship, both partners feel respected, valued, and supported, while in an unhealthy relationship, one partner may feel controlled, manipulated, or belittled. Understanding the needs that promote a healthy relationship and those that are harmful is crucial in building and maintaining a fulfilling relationship. (Also read: Things we need for our emotional health: Therapist explains )
Erica Turner, Relationship and Dating Coach, suggested ten healthy and unhealthy needs that define a healthy relationship and those that contribute to an unhealthy dynamic, in her recent Instagram post.
Healthy relationship needs:
1. The need to be able to express a problem, issue, or concern without being shamed, invalidated or dismissed.
2. The need to be accepted and loved for being your authentic self.
3. The need to not be shamed for being yourself (including your flaws and mistakes)
4. The need to feel emotionally, psychologically, and physically safe.
5. The need for independence and autonomy, the need for alone time and your own interests outside of your relationship.
6. The need to express your needs, emotions, and thoughts without being judged or invalidated.
7. The need to be supported and encouraged.
8. The need to not be blamed for someone else's emotional state or be responsible for fixing someone's negative mood.
9. The need to be able to set boundaries and have them be respected.
10. The need to feel seen, heard, and understood (which requires your partner to be attuned to your emotional state)
Unhealthy relationship needs:
1. The need for your partner to manage your feelings, you rely on them to feel calm or happy.
2. The need for constant external validation or reassurance from your partner because you don't know how to validate yourself or you only feel okay with yourself when they feel okay with you.
3. The need for your partner to make you feel enough because you do not feel enough on your own
4. The need to attach to someone because you don't feel comfortable being alone.
5. The need to have your partner be in constant communication with you because you feel anxious when they are not around
6. The need to keep your feelings to yourself because you fear vulnerability.
7. The need to keep space between you and your partner because you fear closeness and intimacy (emotional or physical.)
8. The need to have your partner agree with you all the time because a different opinion feels threatening.
9. The need to not rely on anyone
10. The need to not ask for help and do everything on your own.
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