Called out for being emotionally immature? Therapist shares 4 ways to not be that way

Being emotionally immature is mostly involuntary, but there are ways one can try to curb the behaviour, shares Jeffrey Meltzer.

People who are emotionally immature are not usually aware of it until they are called out for being that way, and that is not a fun experience. If you have had a similar experience and want to do something about it, here are four ways shared by Florida-based therapist Jeffrey Meltzer on Instagram on September 24 that can help.

1. Learn to take feedback

Many of the problems that an individual faces in relationships and workplaces happen when they interpret feedback as a personal attack.

“Even when feedback is unsolicited, practice pausing and asking yourself whether there's something useful in it before defending yourself,” stated Jeffrey. “You do not have to agree with everything or tolerate disrespect. But being willing to consider what someone is saying gives you an opportunity to improve. It also helps people feel that they can be honest with you without walking on eggshells.”

2. Learn to apologise

There can be a number of reasons why an individual may hesitate to apologise. Sometimes apologising is a skill that they were never taught, and sometimes the ego just gets in the way.

“Admitting you made a mistake does not mean someone else is superior to you. You are human, and you're allowed to be wrong,” shared the therapist. “Practice taking responsibility for the specific thing that you did.”

That can sound something along the lines of: “I'm sorry I interrupted you. I didn't give you a chance to explain, and I want to hear you out.” When one recognises their mistake, Jeffrey suggests offering that apology without waiting to be asked and following through with their behaviour.

3. Communicate directly

In the words of Jeffrey, “When something bothers you, the anxiety of bringing it up can make avoidance tempting. Talking things through with someone you trust can help, but when it is safe to address the issue, do not let venting replace a conversation with the person involved.”

When opening up, Jeffrey suggested one should describe what bothers them without attacking the other person. That can sound like: “When you make jokes about me in front of others, I feel embarrassed. Please stop.”

As per the therapist, this allows the other person a chance to understand the problem before resentment starts coming out through sarcasm or passive-aggressive comments.

4. Take responsibility for your reactions

As the therapist stated, “You're allowed to feel angry or disappointed, but those feelings do not excuse bad behaviour. You can take your feelings seriously while still taking responsibility for how you treat people.”

Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. This report is based on user-generated content from social media. HT.com has not independently verified the claims and does not endorse them.

Jeffrey Meltzer is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor based in Florida. He graduated with a Master's in Mental Health Counselling from the University of South Florida and has been providing therapy services for over seven years.