Inner child patterns that hijack our adult relationships - Hindustan Times

Inner child patterns that hijack our adult relationships

By, Delhi
Aug 07, 2023 10:07 AM IST

From the overachiever to the escapist, here are a few inner child patterns that hijack our adult relationships.

When we are brought up in dysfunctional homes, we develop our own ways of coping with it. These coping mechanisms, however, design adult relationships and the patterns we follow later in lives. "It's important to recognise that these traits are not inherently "good" or "bad"; they are coping mechanisms that developed during childhood. If left unaddressed, these patterns can hinder healthy adult relationships. Self-awareness, empathy, and a willingness to address past traumas and patterns can lead to personal growth and improved relationship dynamics. It’s quite common for individuals to exhibit a combination of different traits, as we are complex beings with diverse experiences and coping mechanisms. Each person's inner child is influenced by their unique upbringing, environment, and past experiences. These dynamics can also play out in other relationships," wrote Therapist Lalitaa Suglani as she explained the inner child patterns and how they hijack our adult relationships.

Inner child patterns that hijack our adult relationships(Unsplash)
Inner child patterns that hijack our adult relationships(Unsplash)

ALSO READ: Types of inner child wounds that show up in relationships

The rescuer: This role happens when the child has been a rescuer for the other members of the family. When they grow up to be adults, they feel compelled to save others at all times.

The pleaser: This trait can develop for the ones who have grown up believing that in order to avoid uncomfortable situations and conflicts, they need to keep everyone happy and pleased.

The overachiever: This inner child trait develops when a child ties their sense of self-worth to their achievements in childhood. In adulthood, they become extreme workaholics and constantly strive for success, sometimes at the cost of their mental, emotional and physical health.

The escapist: Escaping or dissociating from reality as a coping mechanism develops when a child learns to navigate through difficult emotions by not addressing them at all.

The manipulator: This coping mechanism is developed by children when we realism that manipulation is a tactic to get their needs met.

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