Stages of establishing a secure, healthy relationship

From having doubt to the sense of security, these six stages help in creating a healthy and secure relationship based on healthy dependance.

A healthy and secure relationship takes time in making. The relationship needs to go through multiple stages of growth to create trust, loyalty and great communication as the base to build a beautiful relationship that involves two people who are willing to put efforts and make things work out for the long run. A secure relationship is also healthy for multiple reasons. With insecurity and other negative emotions out of the arrangement, it becomes a safe space for two people to embrace growth individually and also together. However, the stages of growing a healthy and secure relationship needs to go through a plethora of emotions to establish trust.

Stages of establishing a secure healthy relationship(Unsplash)

“It isn’t always a smooth ride and sometimes our conditioned mind and body will send threat signals based on our past. Sometimes we think this means something is wrong or off, but it’s actually part of the process. And of course, we can go through different stages at the same time,” wrote Psychologist Nicole LePera as she explained the stages.

Doubt: When we put more effort into understanding who we are ready to invest our emotions in, it creates doubt. This is not something we should worry about – in fact it happens because we are looking out for ourselves.

Grief: It can happen due to multiple reasons – losing out on the fantasy of finding the perfect person or the slow fading of the sense of independence can create grief in us.

Power struggles: Our abandonment issues or unresolved trauma can come up at any point of time making us go through stages of relationship sabotage or pushing the other person away. In such cases, it is important to address things immediately.

Boredom: When people are raised in chaotic homes, we often mistake stable relationships as a loss of passion, since we are always looking out for drama.

Fulfillment: The sense of fulfillment with the other person and learning to accept them as they are starts to happen. In this stage, we also start to look forward to working as a team in navigating life together.

Security: We start to feel safe and secure about the person as well as the relationship, and this creates healthy dependance.