Ways to heal yourself in relationships

From releasing a secret to soothing physical touch, here are a few ways by which we can heal ourselves.

Attachment wounds are real. In relationships, when we get attached to a person, we are more prone to be hurt by their actions. Addressing this, Psychologist Nicole LePera wrote, "Attachment wounds can be healed. We do this in relationships with safe people who soothe us, comfort us, and allow us to be seen in a shame-free way. The more of these experiences we have, the more we create new neural pathways around relationships. The more our nervous system can co-regulate with another person. You’ve all probably experienced one more or of them." In such situations, we need to re-wire our brain and the nervous system to feel better again. But how can we heal ourselves in the relationship? The expert shared a few ways:

Ways to heal yourself in relationships (Unsplash)

Releasing a secret: Sometimes keeping things inside us can hurt us more than sharing it with someone and letting it go. Often, we hold onto secrets that we feel embarrassed about. This causes more hurt within us. Sometimes the right thing to do is to share the secret with someone who can understand us and deal with it with empathy and compassion.

Skin to skin soothing touch: Running fingers through the hair or staying cuddled with the person you love or holding hands and lying close to each other – these are some of the examples of soothing physical touches that can make us feel good and heal us.

Resonance: Nothing feels lighter than letting out a past experience that haunts us with someone who can resonate with it and understand what we went through. We find support in that other person, and we feel that we can heal from it.

Validation: We all seek validation from the ones we love. When we share something that we have experienced and have someone validate it for us with their sense of understanding and empathy, it makes us feel better.