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Seriously Cyrus: Instead of lecturing, try being a tad more sensitive

Cyrus Broacha gives you advice on love, relationships and more.

sex and relationships Updated: Jul 02, 2019 15:56 IST
Cyrus Broacha
Cyrus Broacha
Hindustan Times, Delhi
Seriously Cyrus,Cyrus Broacha,Relationship tips
Cyrus Broacha gives quirky tips on resolving relationship issues.(Getty Images/iStockphoto)

I am a 26-year-old woman and I’m dating a guy of my same age. My issue is that he is super lazy and I’m someone who is always enthusiastic about socialising and other activities. How do I make him a little bit active? – AS

AS, you have come to the right person. When challenged in life by arduous and stringent circumstances, we must take a leaf out of the book of Chief Baccardo Pat of the Yute Indian tribe. (In truth he wrote no book, and was not known to collect leaves either). Chief Baccardo Pat had a simple solution to all problems, and that was medication. AS, I feel you can do the same. I recommend, 1 spoon of Nitroflex pre-workout in the morning on an empty stomach. The 341 gms of caffeine in it will help revive the corpse that you have been dating. He’ll be up and about for the next 5 to 6 hours. In fact you’d better find him something to do, or he’d be like a dog chasing his own tail. The other route, is to plan life around things that he likes to do. For e.g. watching a World Cup match with his pals. Laziness is directly related to acute lack of interest. So find his interests, and buy Nitroflex.

I am a 28-year-old man and I am dating a girl who is 26. We have been together for almost 2 years now and yet she is over possessive. I don’t know how to make her understand and make her feel secure. Please help. - NT

NT, have you ever seen a dog who gets upset if his human friend, is patting another dog? What does that tell you? It tell you that common decency dictates that you take permission from your dog, before patting another one. It also tells you that jealousy is an inherent quality. It already exists in all of us. Some just are more jealous than others. Others are just jealous of how jealous some get over others. Instead of lecturing her, try being a tad more sensitive. Curtail the greetings and talks with the opposite gender in front of her. I mean why wind her up, and then badger her about her behaviour. Also maybe start talking about the not so nice qualities of women who surround you. Let me assure you, that your girlfriend will always be easier to handle than your dog, when it comes to over possessiveness.

I am a 35-year-old man and I’ve been married for almost 5 years now. However, my wife and my mother don’t get along and eventually I’m forced to choose between them in any situation. I’m tired of this and want to sort things once and for all. What should I do? - GS

The late Roman Senator Theoduis XI, (he was called Late not because he’s dead, but because he was always late, of course now he is dead), had shared the same problem as you. He solved it by going for a vacation, and leaving the two women to sort out the matter amicably. When he returned his mom had killed his wife. Theoduis was infuriated. Not because of the murder, but because his wife’s blood had stained his favourite rug. GS, the lesson you learn here is not clear. It never is. And whatever it maybe it has more to do with rugs, than relationships. But why don’t you get them to spend more time together, maybe they’ll find common ‘bitching’ ground, namely, you. Throw them together into the deep end.

I am a 32-year-old woman and I’ve been happily married for three years now. However, the issue is that I’m not able to give time to our relationship. He never complains but I’ve seen subtle changes which is affecting our relationship. What should I do? — MG

MG, you are a real smart alec. You are just testing me. You are a tease. You know the answer to the question. You even reveal the answer to your question, in your question itself. He may never complain, but I’m complaining immediately. The answer I’m referring to, which you have also mentioned, is giving time to the relationship. Let me be absolutely clear, you have to give time for the relationship. Relationship are like plants, if you don’t give them time, both will die. You may argue that with time, plants will die anyway. In that case, I take back my analogy. But, you already know, you have to give time. You can’t let life get in the way for too long. Give him some time, a little time or you’ll find yourself finally timed out…..er excuse the pun.

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First Published: Jul 01, 2019 10:28 IST