'Not a lifetime meal ticket': Son plans to cut mom's allowance to start a family

A Reddit user shared his family's dilemma involving his mother, who has refused to work since 1995 out of fear of "bad people."

A 35-year-old man has ignited a fierce internet debate after asking if he is wrong for wanting to slash his dependent mother’s allowance to marry his long-term girlfriend. The man, who worked his way through university despite his mother's opposition, currently gives her 15% of his take-home pay and covers her expenses. However, when his mother pressured the couple to have a baby, he firmly established that a family is financially unviable unless she stops treating him as a lifetime meal ticket and seeks her own income.

The man shared that he has been giving his mom an allowance for the past 20 years. (Representative image). (Pexels)

“​Me (35M): I hold a decent job and put myself through university via night classes and bank loans. My mother was heavily against me getting a degree, claiming ‘degree holders are jobless.’ Despite her lack of support, I earn a ‘degree-level’ salary. I currently give her 15% of my take-home pay, and fully cover her Netflix and a very expensive medical insurance policy. (Note: I also graduated poly 4 years late because she forced me to take a major exam while severely ill when I was in primary school. When brought up, she blames it on my ‘fate’,” the man wrote on Reddit.

He explained that she has been widowed since 2007 and has refused to work since 1995. “She is uneducated, speaks no English, and claims the world is full of ‘bad people,’ using this fear to justify not working.” He added that his elder brother had already cut ties with their mother due to her “blatant favouritism” toward him.

The man explained that he plans to marry his frugal girlfriend, who earns under $2,000 a month. However, when his mother pressured them to have a baby, he flatly stated it was financially impossible unless her allowance was reduced. He urged his mother to stop treating him “as a lifetime meal ticket” and suggested she rent out his room or get part-time work - both of which she refused.

As a result, the mom allegedly scolded the son and began misbehaving with his girlfriend. “​I told her that while I am indebted to her to a point, she has been free-riding for nearly two decades and it is enough,” the man wrote, asking if he is wrong in his decision to reduce her allowance.

How did social media react?

An individual posted, “At times like this, it makes me appreciate my parents. Please try to get married and move out as soon as possible. Your mum is a leech.” Another expressed, “Old people are very hard to change. The older generations were brought up being taught different values than the younger ones; they have no concept of narcissism. Your salary will increase in the future; just don’t increase the allowance amount as long as it’s sufficient for her livelihood. It’s gonna be hard if your future wife earns less than 2k though.”

A third commented, “You get married. Then sell the current house and downgrade to a 2-room house. She lives off the housing profit , and you live your own life with your wife. I’m a firm believer that we don’t owe our parents anything; we owe our children everything.”

A fourth wrote, “Your mom is probably afraid of being left alone and so wants control over you by making you continue to give her allowance. She has options laid out before her, but refuses to choose them because right now, having you serve her is much more convenient. This is all on her. You were born so you could experience life, not spend it paying back the person who brought you into the world. My brother and I have cut off allowance to our mother due to her toxic behaviour, and we don't regret it. You have something good going for you, please don't throw it away for nonsense such as filial piety to someone holding you hostage emotionally.”

(Disclaimer: This report is based on user-generated content from social media. Hindustantimes.com has not independently verified the claims and does not endorse them.)